Being Mature

One of the greatest "Pre-Concieved Notions" of humanity is: That being Older, one is Mature.

Nothing is further from the Truth.

The Marks of Maturity:

1. A mature person is able to keep long-term commitments.

One key signal of maturity is the ability to delay gratification. Part of this means a student is able to keep commitments even when they are no longer new or novel. They can commit to continue doing what is right even when they don’t feel like it.

2. A mature person is unshaken by flattery or criticism.

As people mature, they sooner or later understand that nothing is as good as it seems and nothing is as bad as it seems. Mature people can receive compliments or criticism without letting it ruin them or sway them into a distorted view of themselves. They are secure in their identity.

3. A mature person possesses a spirit of humility.

Humility parallels maturity. Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself. It is thinking of yourself less. Mature people aren’t consumed with drawing attention to themselves. They see how others have contributed to their success and can even sincerely give honor to their Creator who gave them the talent. This is the opposite of arrogance

4. A mature person’s decisions are based on character not feelings.

Mature people—students or adults—live by values. They have principles that guide their decisions. They are able to progress beyond merely reacting to life’s options, and be proactive as they live their life. Their character is master over their emotions.

5. A mature person expresses gratitude consistently.

I have found the more I mature, the more grateful I am, for both big and little things. Immature children presume they deserve everything good that happens to them. Mature people see the big picture and realize how good they have it, compared to most of the world’s population.

6. A mature person knows how to prioritize others before themselves.

A wise man once said: A mature person is one whose agenda revolves around others, not self. Certainly this can go to an extreme and be unhealthy, but I believe a pathway out of childishness is getting past your own desires and beginning to live to meet the needs of others less fortunate.

7. A mature person seeks wisdom before acting.

Finally, a mature person is teachable. They don’t presume they have all the answers. The wiser they get the more they realize they need more wisdom. They’re not ashamed of seeking counsel from adults (teachers, parents, coaches) or from other sources. Only the wise seek wisdom.

8.A mature person seeks to self-actualize,be the best Human Being they can be.

Emotional Immaturity
Emotional Maturity
  • Reactive (Life happens to me)
  • Act out emotions
  • Governed by habit
  • Come from fear/scarcity
  • “Have to” motivation
  • Getting (self-centered)
  • Seek security and self-protection
  • Avoid failure, rejection, discomfort
  • Separation/alienation from others
  • Live in the past/future
  • Proactive (I make choices)
  • Act on emotions
  • Governed by vision/purpose
  • Come from love/abundance
  • “Choose to” motivation
  • Giving (other-centered)
  • Step outside comfort zone
  • Seek growth
  • Unity/goodwill with others
  • Live in the present

One thing I learned in my alcohol rehab, is that the majority of adults in all of society are emotional immature in some aspect,and as addicts we had to overcome being immature,first and foremost.

Only very self-actualized people are considered ,near fully mature,yet maturing never ends,it is a life long endeavor.

For example: someone is who racist,is very immature in that aspect of the mind, someone whom can't except gender differences,any type of addiction,groupthink,,inability to overcome Bias,ego-centered etc.

The big two I don't understand is racist and gender,as both are no threating to a individual,other then are different,,this greatly worries me,,as this type person is very stuck in a false-belief system,to the point of mental retardation."Inability to view the world from the perspective of other people" Narcissism

The mature person is the one whom is self-aware enough to see when they are being immature,admits it,then strives to improve themselves,so admit your immature your immature,cause you are human. 

The worse thing one can say,to one's self is "Oh that's just the way I am,I can't help it"

That's Apathy!

Links related to Maturity


   how to become mature, we must see,when we are being deceptive,by being untruthful.even "white lies"

I think of "white lies" as a learned way to avoid a uncomfortable situation,like public speaking,or not liking to do something,so we call in sick etc. problem is we don't face the truth, yet it is a social problem,due to fact one may have a employer that is not understanding,or a teacher that makes the student suffer and get up in front of class to speak!..we make people lie as well!

This is a very good point as to why a Employer,a Leader etc. has to stress honesty without being punished.

Anonymity of Groupthink fosters dishonesty,the large Corporation,the Internet,

Dishonesty of Leaders is a terrible fostering of dishonest act

Simple Politics, being part of a group

Why we must look at " Beyond Chiefdom" concept. such as micro communities within larger communites etc.

I mean since 1950 the population has over doubled, and nothing is in place for social order,simply based on that "Fact"..nothing new since I been around,unless I missed it,which I miss a lot!

Our prehistoric forebears are often portrayed as spear-wielding savages, but the earliest human societies are likely to have been founded on enlightened egalitarian principles, according to scientists.

A study has shown that in contemporary hunter-gatherer tribes, men and women tend to have equal influence on where their group lives and who they live with. The findings challenge the idea that sexual equality is a recent invention, suggesting that it has been the norm for humans for most of our evolutionary history.

Sexual equality is one of the important changes that distinguishes humans. It hasn’t really been highlighted before

Mark Dyble, leader of the study

Dyble told the Guardian newspaper, “Sexual equality is one of an important suite of changes to social organization, including things like pair-bonding, our big, social brains, and language, that distinguishes humans. It’s an important one that hasn’t really been highlighted before.” (May 14)

Just as Morgan came to his conclusions by studying the Native people living here, particularly the Iroquois nation, so the authors of this current article based their finding on studying the Mbendjele BaYaka people in the Congo and the Agta people in the Philippines. They arrived at astonishingly similar conclusions.

In each of these cultures, human pairings are the norm, but there is no domination by the men over the women. The researchers even measured the food calories that each sex acquired for the community and found the amounts to be equal. Men are also active in childcare.

The Science article continues: “Our results suggest that pair-bonding and increased sex egalitarianism in human evolutionary history may have had a transformative effect on human social organization. Many unique human traits such as high cognition, cumulative culture and hyper-cooperation have evolved due to the social organization patterns unique to humans.”

The authors also found that, by preventing the narrowing of the families into male-dominated units and by widening the community base, the genetic component of the human species is widened as well. Dangerous inbreeding is avoided, and favorable genetic traits can be more easily integrated into the community.

Private property & oppression of women

There is no recognition of Marxist studies, or even that of the capitalist Morgan, in the Science article. It suggests that an “imbalance” occurred simply with the dawn of agriculture and food surpluses. “Men can start to have several wives and they can have more children than women,” said Dyble. “It pays more for men to start accumulating resources and becomes favorable to form alliances with male kin.”

But Ballan pointed out: “When social production becomes transformed into private production, the nature of the family changed from a socially cooperative foundation as it existed under the matriarchy to the private foundations of the patriarchy.”

Engels put it this way: “The overthrow of the mother-right was the world historic defeat of the female sex. The man seized the reins in the house also: the woman was degraded, enthralled, the slave of the man’s lust, a mere instrument for breeding children. This lowered position of women … has become gradually embellished and … clothed in milder forms, but by no means abolished.”

Thus it was the rise of the first class society — ancient slavery — that destroyed the egalitarian matriarchy. Slavery gave way to feudalism and then capitalism, which sustains gender inequality to the present day, along with every other form of oppression.

Not satisfied with just academic research on this, Marxists view the legacy of egalitarian matriarchy, of the primary commune, to be a springboard into the present-day struggle against this outmoded, racist, sexist, anti-gay, oppressive class society.

Because of the early level of the productive forces, humans in the original communes faced a tough, uphill struggle against the forces of nature. Yet they provided evidence that we humans can build a powerful social model in which to survive and grow, based on equality and filling the needs of the whole community.

Today, we humans have developed vast powers of production that could be used to satisfy our needs. Instead, in most countries, economic life is chained to the profit motive. To reach the next step on the ladder of social development — the construction of a society that meets the needs of all people on a much higher level — this rotting capitalist system has to be overthrown.


There are two things you can say for sure about human beings: our opposable thumbs make us great at using tools, and we are all big, fat liars. By age four, 90% of children have grasped the concept of lying, and it just gets worse from there.

A 75-nation study shows that Americans think they can get away with lying more than half the time. Protestants are most likely to think they can lie without detection. Catholics slightly less. Muslims are least likely to feel that way.

Americans think they can detect a lie less than half of the time. Norwegians and Swedes rate themselves even worse. Turks and Armenians, however, say they can spot a liar upwards of 70 percent of the time. Worldwide, people surveyed say they can detect 53 percent of lies.

Those are among the findings of work done by Texas Christian University Psychology Professor Charles F. Bond, and fellow researchers. Bond helped to explain research into international deception at a Congressional briefing session in Washington, DC recently.

"We have conducted a 75-nation study with 4,800 participants," says Dr. Bond. "Eye contact, or lack of it, was mentioned more than any other cue as an indicator that a person is lying."

And all that shows, apparently, is just how often people can be wrong.

Intuition Pumps: Daniel Dennett on the Dignity of Being Wrong and Art-Science of Making Fertile Mistakes-brainpickings.org


“The chief trick to making good mistakes is not to hide them — especially not from yourself.”

“If you are not making mistakes, you’re not taking enough risks,” Debbie Millman counseled. “Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody’s ever made before,” Neil Gaiman advised young creators. In Intuition Pumps And Other Tools for Thinking (public library), the inimitable Daniel Dennett, one of our greatest living philosophers, offers a set of thinking tools — “handy prosthetic imagination-extenders and focus holders” — that allow us to “think reliably and even gracefully about really hard questions” — to enhance your cognitive toolkit. He calls these tools “intuition pumps” — thought experiments designed to stir “a heartfelt, table-thumping intuition” (which we know is a pillar of even the most “rational” of science) about the question at hand, a kind of persuasion tool the reverse-engineering of which enables us to think better about thinking itself. Intuition, of course, is a domain-specific ability that relies on honed critical thinking rather than a mystical quality bestowed by the gods — but that’s precisely Dennett’s point, and his task is to help us hone it.