Is Cuckolding as a sign of being a Fem-male

  (for myself, I am sure it was, as when a girl-friend I had at time(mid 90's) began cuckolding me(having sex with another male by my asking her to) then photo's he took of her as she performed fellatio on himself,so I could see, I knew I wanted to do what she was doing")...a life time of suppressing the truth of my role,which in my heart I knew after "First Contact",yet suppressed due to society's shame of.

I personally wanted my Wife to Cuckold me - (to have sex with other men,that was back in the mid 1980's),I had no idea why,other then I desired her to,persuaded her to,and soon she was,and it ended our marriage.She felt she needed a different type man,I am sure she felt I was gay,she just needed out of the relationship,thus asked me for a divorce-I very much don't blame her,and it was best.

I do remember thinking at that time-"She needs a real-man,I truly at that time didn't fantasize about having sex with her lovers,other then asking her about ,how they made her feel,?did they they pleasure her well?,if she told me they had big cocks,bigger then mind,it turned me on,I never seen them in the "act",until I accidentally caught then in the act right before the divorce(I arrived home early that night unexpected),,I seen his cock,I realized I wanted to suck it! / wanted it in my bottom.- yet I still tried to deny it for at least 10 years, until Wanting a girl friend in 1997 to cuckold me,she as well did,I was modeling for art classes by then,had the chance to be with a real-man sexually, I took it,she understood,we stopped seeing each other and so I found my true sexually identity as "Fem-male".

Anyway for years,I have searched for any good imformation on "being a Cuckold".

I have had very little luck,I came across the Following Discussion on the topic,so will post-it,then Critic it.

                                      What is the difference between a cuckold and a bisexual?

What I mainly see in the above replies is the same old " Stereotyping" humanity assuming,where in reality unless we talk to each individual male whom wants his wife or girlfriend to "Cuckold" him and ask the simply question: "what is your sexual Role,fem or male, do you want to truly perform Fellatio on the man/ have him mount you?

I continually see it ,symbolized as a form of "being a submissive", and " humiliation" and a form of Fetish,which maybe it is for some,yet for many I believe it is a sign that their sexual orientation is very Fem-male.transgender etc.

 Thus to say someone is bi-sexual is only half the story,one needs to then know,is their orientation, in the "Role" of male or Female.?

One must remember that in 1985 for example there was no Internet,I had no idea what a Cuckold was, or even that humanity might even have a Term for a male ,that wished his female mate(wife/girl-friend) have sex with other men.So I was at odds in my own mind,why I desired such a thing,I also had all but forgotten my early sexual relation at 13years old(put it out of my mind).The idea that I might be attracted sexually to another man was something I could not consider,didn't want to think that ,I can't possibly "Not be a Real Man", so in essense I claimed in my on mind,"It's just a fantasy",yet this fantasy became "Reality" and now I had to deal with it.

Not until I met ,my girl in 1995,I think fell in love with her, and in 1996 I was asking her to cuckold me,she was very reluctant,to see another guy,then one day she told me that there was a guy from work,that really wanted to go-out with her,I was very excited,as she could tell,she said then that she would if it turned me on so much-"for me",I didn't like the idea just for me,yet looking back I think I was being "Selfish",yet to be honest I still didn't know what I was really doing!.Not until she had been seeing this other guy (routinely)for nearly 6 months,her and I where talking,she came right out and asked me "Michael do you want my friend to "fuck" you too,do you wish you could suck his cock too!",,it didn't dawn on me until she asked,almost by her asking,it made me see she was accepting that it was ok,if I did want to have a Man, like she was having a Man. I was reluctant to say "Yes",yet I did say yes. At that moment,I realized "I had been Wanting a Man, as she was having a Man",almost as though I was living my desire through her.

She asked me if I wanted her friend       (I will call him Magnum,as I would buy herTrojan Magnum Condoms to use when with him)          to really "top me",treat me like a lady,I told her I wanted to be with  a guy, maybe other then him ( I knew him and wasn't sexual attracted to him), yet I told her there was a black guy I knew,that had kinda flirted with me,but I denied it,the fact that "I want to be treated like a Lady".She then said to me "it's ok,I like your a lot more fem-like", this helped me admit to myself,what ,how and where my desires, rooted from.   I did meet her friend talked to him,yet I was was at the time "Uncertain",he also was very handsome, yet I felt he might be a bit "rough" on me,I already knew he was "very well hung", I could also tell he seen me as a "Sissy",so I was very timid about having him "Bone me", though looking back,I sometimes wish I would have.

They say "being Submissive is a Female trait", though being a Cuckold is very much a submissive role,from my view point. So knowing what I know now,, I wonder if I for awhile at least would of been with "Magnum", and he would of put me in a very submissive role(my girl-friend told me he was Aggressive type)

So anyway I was soon being "Topped,being treated like a LADY" by my friend (black boy-friend) with him I was content in my "Role as Lady",,so a-"big Loop"- I started as another male's fem-male boy-friend,,and now was again a real man's fem-male boyfriend- in the role as a Lady. and instead of living my life through another female friend/lover," I can have a real man ,like they where,or are having a real man "

I think now,and it always has been a challenge,is always keeping my "bottom" clean and ready to be "treated like a Lady",I really only see this the only down-fall to myself to being a Fem-male(at least sexually). Believe me I have experimented with many methods of keeping my bottom clean,currently I only use either Square-peg or Bad-Dragon brand dildos,I just purchased a Bad-dragon Rex style dildo w/ cum-tube and experimenting with mineral oil type enema,yet just began,so not sure how it will work-out.

Believe me it has been a long,difficult struggle yet no matter what ,if things look dark,now I might have to meditate the saying-→         " God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I can-not change,yet grant me the courage to change the things I can,as well as the wisdom to know the difference"

I do hope that maybe a person that is considering taking transgender is to mean that one has to go to the extreme of hormone therapy,and actual surgery to change to their "Role sex".

I realize, I can never realize, in  what degree another transgender type person,deals or needs to deal psychologically with gender dysphoria, the desire to be in their "Role sex", yet believe me I often wish I had a female body,especially when it comes to actual sex,I must say it would be much easier to have a man's cock up inside me,if I had a female body !, instead of keeping my "bottom" clean so he can be up inside my bottom ,which I love,more then anything as it is how I can be made to feel "Completely Fem-male",for myself it is a very important part of myself being in the "Fem-male" role,that I am always ready to satisfy my man sexually with my bottom,as well as a great need for me,to feel him in my bottom,thus "being as ready as possible,to be penetrated anally"is a big deal for myself.

I also have never been wealthy enough to afford any form of "sex change treatment",which I now see as a good thing,yet I admit I am 56 years old now,I realize if I where 30 years old again and "prettier",I may be more swayed toward transitioning to female.

However now if I met a male(straight) whom could accept me as his Fem-male partner ,in my role as Lady,accept that my "bottom" is my female part,and the demands of mounting me anally. I would be content,and not desire any change of "my body"

Personal in my current living/work situation if I where to meet a Man to my liking and he accepted me in my "Role", I would have to move,so that is a issue of being "Fem-male",yet this would be fine.
Rex with cum-tube

My thoughts at this time,are that through the distortions of the fetishes of Cuckolding is taken as just that!,a Fetish,as some distorted sexual desire that the person or peoples are completely aware of what they are doing.

I at this time am opposed to any type of Fem-dom.bd/sm type stuff,just my belief though,I don't believe in any type of "Humilting behavior".- personally        I think mainly because it can easily become distorted,and hide true underlying truth's psychologically.

Just like some have strereotyped me as gay,they are often the one's whom can't understand the meaning of "separation of Church and State",or" the Map is not the Territory",or even "you can't step through the same river twice

Beside if I am gay,fem-male,transgender,what-ever,,whats that got to do with how I or anyone else is as a "Human Being"?

-my conclusion is many,many peoples have yet to embrace how important the concept of the " Separation of church and state" is,nor personal have even attempted to embodied it. "Thomas Jefferson was :The religious views of Thomas Jefferson diverged widely from the orthodox Christianity of his era. Throughout his life, Jefferson was intensely interested in theology, religious studies, and morality.[1][2] Jefferson was most comfortable with Deism, rational religion, and Unitarianism.[3] He was sympathetic to and in general agreement with the moral precepts of Christianity
We all must never forget the Country was based of "Freedom of Beliefs" and to openly undermine,disgrace,any another due to their personal belief,sexually etc,should be held as criminal,and the person should be asked to leave the Country if they choose to continue their behavior.Good thing I am not in Charge!,,lol,,cause there would be a lot of people with one-way tickets Out!

I have been exploring 

----------------------------------------Seeking One's Identity---------------------------------------------------------------------------------9/9/2018--------------

excerpt from 6.3 above;           Adolescence is defined as the years between the onset of puberty and the beginning of adulthood. In the past, when people were likely to marry in their early 20s or younger, this period might have lasted only 10 years or less—starting roughly between ages 12 and 13 and ending by age 20, at which time the child got a job or went to work on the family farm, married, and started his or her own family. Today, children mature more slowly, move away from home at later ages, and maintain ties with their parents longer. For instance, children may go away to college but still receive financial support from parents, and they may come home on weekends or even to live for extended time periods. Thus the period between puberty and adulthood may well last into the late 20s, merging into adulthood itself. In fact, it is appropriate now to consider the period of adolescence and that of (the ages between 18 and the middle or late 20s) together.

Gender identity forms an important part of identity in psychology, as it dictates to a significant[quantify] degree how one views oneself both as a person and in relation to other people, ideas and nature. Other aspects of identity, such as racial, religious, ethnic, occupational… etc. may also be more or less significant – or significant in some situations but not in others (Weinreich & Saunderson 2003 pp 26–34). In cognitive psychology, the term "identity" refers to the capacity for self-reflection and the awareness of self (Leary & Tangney 2003, p. 3).

Sociology places some explanatory weight on the concept of role-behavior. The notion of identity negotiation may arise from the learning of social roles through personal experience. Identity negotiation is a process in which a person negotiates with society at large regarding the meaning of his or her identity. -wikipedia