Gender Roles

Gender X

America has slowly begun to acknowledge that for many people, gender is not easily defined as either male or female. And state governments are moving to recognize that fact by giving residents the option of a third gender identifier, neither exclusively male or female.-

I feel growing up in the 1960's and 70's there was,what I call forced " masculinity " for young boys,the Vietnam War was raging on,the draft was in place,at 16 we had to go to post-office sign up for "selective service"-the Law-,thus ever earlier in youth we played with fake guns,pretend war in our neighbor hood "battle grounds". We must be real men!, and if you want to be more like a female,you better hide-it

To a degree I might of been one of the most Homophobic/transphobic person Alive !, that is in terms of being discovered,especially after age 13,when already had been "another boy's girlie-friend",already had another boy's penis up in my bottom and in my mouth,"acting like a girl",a sissy!,yet at the same time liking and wishing to be a sissy,another boy's girl friend.

I even remember thinking,do I want to be a sissy/girl so I don't have to go to Vietnam-yet that didn't fit,as I could do my duty,and play the "role" of soldier,and tough guy,even though I never liked being,or have ever outwardly tried to be "Masculine".-                                                    I would put "Gender X on my pass port/drivers lic.   on the basis ,I am sexually and pyschological female like and can't,change that.

Being a "Effeminate" male in America,and being a soldier wasn't a "cool idea",thus forced to be non-Effeminate,or forced to be masculine

Social construction of masculinity


Social scientists conceptualize masculinity (and femininity) as a performance.[25][26][27] Gender performances may not necessarily be intentional and people may not even be aware of the extent to which they are performing gender, as one outcome of lifelong gender socialization is the feeling that one's gender is "natural" or biologically-ordained.

The social construction of gender also conceptualizes gender as a continuum. Theorists suggest one is not simply masculine or feminine, but instead may display components of both masculinity and femininity to different degrees and in particular contexts.

Masculine performance varies over the life course, but also from one context to another. For instance, the sports world may elicit more traditionally normative masculinities in participants than would other settings.[28] Men who exhibit a tough and aggressive masculinity on the sports field may display a softer masculinity in familial contexts. Masculinities vary by social class as well. Studies suggest working class constructions of masculinity to be more normative than are those from middle class men and boys.[29][30] As these contexts and comparisons illustrate, theorists suggest a multiplicity of masculinities, not simply one single construction of masculinity.[31]- -wikipedia


I found this on a website,and it is what I feel is a big "Psychological Need " for people like myself whom are Psychologically

in some form of "Gender dysphoria"Assert Your Identity: 

Some of us have much more freedom to do this than others.  Even when we are not able to display our preferred gender in public, it can be immensely affirming to find some way – any way – to channel our dysphoric feelings into external expression.  It could be something very small, something that is not usually gendered but that has personal significance for you.  For me, it’s a silver ring that I sometimes wear on my right index finger.

Asserting your pronouns can be very empowering, as can modifying your appearance.Makeup, contouring, binding and packing can be helpful.  Wearing items that shape the body and simulate our desired sex characteristics feels great for many people.  Self-expression through fashion can also be radically empowering, and I’ve always taken solace in simply changing my hair and clothing.  A button down can help me feel more comfortable in my own skin, and more than once I’ve shaved my head as a way of telling to the world that I am being misunderstood.More permanent forms of body modifications can also provide powerful relief.  Every time I get a tattoo or a piercing I feel more like my true self.  Making alterations to my flesh empowers me to feel in command of my body, and capable of shaping it in ways that better express who I am.  This alleviates gender dysphoria and nurtures radical self-love by bringing my authentic self to the forefront of my self-perception, and by holding space for my gender identity to manifest itself physically.

The thing that bothers me the most is the "Assuming" that just because someone is " Psychologically a Fem-male" they wish to under go a sex change surgery, number one it is seldom affordable to most,(if you where say a person living in the 1800's,it was even a operation that could be performed).Also I think many transgender people have their own unique degree of "Psychologically Need " to be in the role they identify with,for example , my "Psychologically Need " is to be female like when sexually with a man,to appear female like to him,to the best of my ability. Socially,in Community,it might be called,sure I like to be known that my "Indentity" is "Fem-male". So how does one deal with this realistically?.(without a sex-change)...??..

I would say most "Individuals",not a "Society", as the  Psychologically Need to be accepted by other individuals of their community,group,tribe etc. If not the Individual must move on,remain in a state of isolation, SecrecyA Society as no Mind of it's Own, a society is Individuals!

I think it is helpful to remember: Plato's idea of "Time and Change: The world of the Forms is eternal and unchanging. Time and change belong only to the lower sensory world. "Time is a moving image of Eternity".

 for myself " the "Essense of a being",,kinda can be seen as "I may look 55 years old,feel it,yet in my mind I can be 25 or 100.The idea of being Manly etc, is very much not a want or Psychologically Need of mine.

A example, of say " Some one mentioned "mathematics" was a universal knowledge.idea,thus societially,from a metaphysics stand point,this can't be true.

Your Evolution as a Transgender Woman  /reneereyes.com

Where am I?

Most t-girls go through between one and four stages of evolution in their quest towards feminine expression. Many girls achieve a perfect sense of male / female balance after only one stage - lucky them! However, a lot of us are forced to endure a much longer process as we search and discover how important expressing our female side is to our daily happiness - and how far we need to go in doing so.

The ugly part of evolution is that each new stage tends to bring about new priorities - and conditions. This is hard enough on us t-girls - but just imagine what it does to those close to us. We get them accepting one person - and then bang - we begin changing into another. It's sort of like female menopause - only it often happens more than once with us. How bout them apples? LOL

We need our loved ones to understand us. Healthy relationships with those people close to us are as important as the air we breath. By getting a handle on where we are in this evolutionary process, we can better manage the specific challenges associated with our current stage.

There are two important points to remember before studying trans-evolution. First, this process is different for the certified transsexual - those girls who have absolutely no connection to their male body other than having to transform it to female. My analysis refers to the 80%+ of us who have a strong connection with our femininity and seek ways to express it. 

Second, there is no one level higher on the evolutionary ladder than the other. I repeat: No one is better than the other. The only difference between a t-girl that reaches womanhood and the gal forever in infancy is simply a matter of personal happiness - not any form of superiority. The goal is not really womanhood - but rather - balance!! In fact, I'm of the opinion that girls who can maintain balance & bliss by simply donning pantyhose on occasion - are perhaps the most gifted of all t-girls. Unfortunately, Renee is not a member of this elite group. 

If you are just beginning to deal with your transgenderism, I'd suggest you pray to whatever deity you feel might be looking out for 'ya - that you require no multi-phased evolution. It sucks!! LOL 

    Eventually finds balance by simply enjoying this little fetish for what it is - a source of release, relaxation - and pleasure.

    People who find balance at this stage are often the happiest t-girls I've ever met. Personally, I feel society's norms regarding those who go further with dressing - are the reason why gals in next phase tend to be less happy than this group. 

      This is a wonderful period of discovery in new sensations and female  experiences. It is also quite dangerous! Teen desires are typically not ideal in adult environments. Many married gals get stuck in this stage due to familial constraints. Subsequently, some make less than optimal decisions in moving forward - including leaving a good marriage for all the wrong reasons.

        Why? It's not so much because of the challenges she has mastered, but rather - her ability to master challenges. Her happiness comes from enjoying the wonderful blend of her femininity in all facets of her life. 

        Did you find yourself in any of these phases? What I find most interesting when I look at this sort of evolutionary table is just how young a woman Renee really is - regardless of how old her knees are. *G* 

        Be careful what you wish for

        In retrospective, I've begun to realize Renee has evolved a lot like any other woman. I started off focusing pretty much on just looking and acting like a woman (i.e. being able to pass as a female). This was similar to how a young female teenager evolves. 

        I assure you this was a tougher task than my current photos might indicate. I have never been one to look feminine en drab - I'm typically one of the last people that can be guessed out of DRAG. My chest and body hair require a bush hog to even phase removal. My waist line & chin(s) looked a bit different at the onset. My always large calves seemed as unfeminine as a mustache. Suddenly, through slow and steady effort - I saw a pretty hot little female peeking from my loins. Trouble was, I really had no worthwhile plans for her beyond that.

        In trying to figure out how to grow beyond my teen years, I began to seriously evaluate what motivated me to improve in my dressing and appearance. I came up with a list of needs which most growing gals face once they get beyond the basics of being able to pass as a woman. I'll be the first to admit this is a work in progress - as is Renee. I'm still sorting out what is important, what is the highest priority, etc. - and a lot remains a moving target. 

        I suppose my desires and goals are actually dynamic. As other areas of my life evolve - priorities shift in matters well outside of Renee's control. Whatever the reasons, I'm searching hard for steady ground. ::)) 

        Remember folks - I'm baring my soul a bit here - so no wise cracks from the peanut gallery. 

        Renee's Needs ( In no particular priority )

        The horror of loneliness

        You will enjoy so many new and wonderful experiences as your transgenderism begins pervading your life. However, as your evolution occurs, you will experience some of the most intense loneliness your soul has ever come to know. You can visit a lot of my sister's home pages and get a glimpse in more graphic detail of the pain that can be associated with being T. You don't see much of that here - but girlfriend - I have those days as well. In general I try to remain very happy - only because I detest the alternative.

        I've found my intense periods of loneliness have been derived from a narrow group of sources. First, is financial. Nothing will take the starch out of your skirt quite like being broke! Second, is a recovery period from an extreme experience. Doing something that pushes a new boundary is usually stupid - and I tend to regret it for some time. Regret breeds loneliness. 

        Finally, are those periods when I have too few relationships to rest my weary head upon. Because of the problems associated with sharing our gender issues with others, most of us allow few people into our inner circle. This short list can result in some pretty empty feelings  - sort of like we are living one big lie called life.

        Life is so very fragile - and challenging enough without gender issues. Sustained happiness tends to occur when your seesaw is parallel to mother earth. The sensation of bending your life board downward will be so very tempting at times. However, the slow and meticulous process of getting back to even ground will act as a reminder of the dangers of extremism. 

        In general, many people who show an interest in your well being will have less than optimal motivations. T-girls - as a rule - have few really good friends. Finding other t-girls with your same experiences, your current status in evolution, your age, your intellect, etc. - is quite challenging. Many friends, no matter how they might try otherwise - will have a deeper sexual agenda than your soul needs from friends. 

        You might feel compelled to tell more people. I think you should be careful in getting on your high horse in this matter. There is really not a good reason for many people to know. I never told my father (he died in 1988) and I only told my mother in 1999. I waited until the impact on her views regarding me would be lessened - for her benefit. 

        You will have close friends whom your t--bond will become special. In some instances, you will lean on the foundation of their friendship when your heels are worn and your soul is tired. Because of the challenges in their own lives and the needs of others that depend upon them - they will sometimes pull their shoulder away from your head - just when you need it most.

        Loneliness is a real cost of being unique. Let's move on...I'm getting depressed! ::)) -reneereyes.com

        Next time you dive deep into transsexual dating on the web, you might want to play some of these songs.

        It’s not exactly a scientific term, but it’s not a bad word, either. Some prefer simply “woman,” others like saying “chick with a d***,” but most of us know them as shemales. And although you may think that you know what is a shemale, it’s actually much more complicated than those girls with penises that you can see in pornographic movies.

        In order to really answer the question “what is a shemale,” we have to take a look into the shemale meaning and its role in the transgender community. By doing that, we can also take a peek into what it is like to date a shemale and which things are or aren’t smart to do if your partner happens to be one.

        Straight from the Books

        Contrary to popular belief, not all transgender people are shemales, but all shemales are transgender. If it’s still unclear, here’s another take on the true shemale meaning: a shemale is actually a trans woman who possess male genitalia but all of her other features are that of a female.

        For example, a man with a vagina isn’t a shemale, but a woman with a penis is. A shemale has a penis and possibly a scrotum, but that’s the end of her similarities with men – she also has breasts and an accented behind, face and hair, just like any other woman would.

        In science, the term “shemale” is only used in biology and not that frequently. It refers to male animals that display some characteristics that normally belong to females, such as traits or behaviors. One example are male reptiles that sometimes produce female pheromones.

        Now, back to humans. Generally, the word itself is considered offensive in the real world. It’s very rare for a trans-woman to not have a problem if someone refers to her as a shemale, seeing as this term is most often used in the pornographic industry as well as in sex work.

        It’s not that big of a mystery as to where this word comes from. It’s pretty simple – “she” as in a woman and “male” as in male genitalia. There are some well-known synonyms for “shemale,” such as “tranny” or the plural “chicks with d****,” as well as some less-known like “sluts with nuts” and the Japanese “hafu,” which directly translates to “half.”

        How to Date a Shemale?

        Ever since medicine and plastic surgery evolved, it can be really hard to tell a woman from a trans-woman – or in other words, to differentiate a female from a shemale. This is why online dating presents itself as the easiest and fastest way of finding a shemale for a date or a hookup.


        Drag Queen- Violet

        I think personally for myself,I "Imagined myself as Female" most of my life,wished to appear Fem-like,for example I found myself looking in the mirror often,posing as this:

        How used to dream
        How I wish to appear now 6/8/2018

        For example for myself,it is very important "Not" to be -erect-,I want my penis as small as possible,I personally have no need to be erect to have a orgasm,and never have when "mounted by a man" or performing "fellatio",I personal don't desire for my penis to be touched,I don't allow men or women to perform "fellatio" on me,

        I personally wouldn't,or have desire any type surgery

        I don't like body hair,if was "cure" for that!- I would do it.

        The only thing that ever appealed to me about hormone therapy is -some growth in breasts-,and- reduction in penis size-

        I love this size!

        I often wonder if females(at least the in-educated,un-empathtic ones) in modern times aren't the biggest problem against Fem-males,gays, all transgender types. I do know when I was 13,and the rumors spread thru school ,that I liked a boy,,it was the girls whom where openly making fun of me,and seemingly spreading the "News".

        I would like to present myself like this to a sexual partner-tiny penis,un-erect

        In many cultures, displaying characteristics not typical of one's gender may be a social problem. In sociology, this labeling is known as gender assumptions and is part of socialization to meet the mores of a society. Non-standard behavior may be considered indicative of homosexuality, despite the fact that gender expression, gender identity and sexual orientation are widely accepted as distinct concepts.[17][when?][where?] When sexuality is defined in terms of object choice (as in early sexology studies), male homosexuality is interpreted as effeminacy.[18] Social disapproval of excessive masculinity may be expressed as "machismo"[9] or by neologisms such as "testosterone poisoning".[19]

        The relative importance of socialization and genetics in the development of masculinity is debated. Although social conditioning is believed to play a role, psychologists and psychoanalysts such as Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung believed that aspects of "feminine" and "masculine" identity are subconsciously present in all human males.[a]

        The historical development of gender roles is addressed by behavioural genetics, evolutionary psychology, human ecology, anthropology and sociology. All human cultures seem to encourage gender roles in literature, costume and song; examples may include the epics of Homer, the Hengist and Horsa tales and the normative commentaries of Confucius.[citation needed] More specialized treatments of masculinity may be found in the Bhagavad Gita and the bushidō of Hagakure.

        I do know now,looking back, -That oppressing one's gender identity is a very,very dangerous game we are "Playing",in more ways then are clear and present!-

        I thought of the "Life Guard" scenario- (I was trained and certified to be a life-guard@17 years old)

                "The day was beautiful,sunny,and hot,great day for swimming on the Lake,all day two males stuck out to me , they were friends always together,yet very opposite personalities,one very macho like,ego driven,not kind and caring of others,the Other was kind,caring. I look out across the Lake,see to individuals far out beyond the safety buoy's,I grab my binoculars,,spot "Them",the macho one is in "distress",the Kind one is headed to help,,,a bad,bad situation in open water,for a untrained individual to try to help a person in distress, Now I have two potential drowning victims,I am the only life guard on duty,I yell everybody "out" of water now! with mega-phone,grab my "recue can" and dive in, and head out for the two,all the while,in my mind,I am thinking- "today there is going to be a drown victim,it's to far,and the Kind one maybe the "Victim". sure enough by the time close to them,the macho one was tightly gripping the Kind one,as they both submerged,the water was luckly clear,and I could see underwater the macho one release his grip,push off the kind one,sending him to the depth's-I head for the Kind one,reach him,pull him to surface,as I watch the macho one drown."    next time you think about being in-kind, maybe remember this story,,you see I had to "select that day,whom lives,whom dies!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

        I think the above site is interesting look at whats going on culturally in regards to male Feminization,and a harm-ful one!

        There is a crisis in modern masculinity, with men struggling to deal with pressures in their personal and professional lives, according to a report by the mental health charity CALM (the Campaign Against Living Miserably).

        The report, published to coincide with International Men's Day (November 19), seeks to address the reasons why male suicide rates in Britain are at a 15-year high (around 4,500 last year). Suicide is now the single biggest cause of death in men aged 20-49 in England and Wales, with males accounting for 78 per cent of all suicides in the UK. Female suicide rates, in comparison, are declining.

        The CALM report, A Crisis in Modern Masculinity: Understanding the Causes of Male Suicide, analysed the pressures and expectations that men and women face in their daily lives, and concluded that men are failing to cope, as well as keeping their problems hidden from others.

        Roughly half of all the 1,000 men and women surveyed said they had experienced some form of depression, yet women were much more likely to seek help or confide in a friend. 74pc of women who had suffered depression said they had spoken to someone about it, while only 53pc of males had done so. 69pc of men who had suffered depression said they preferred to deal with the problem themselves.

        Personally if in a close relationship with a male or female,sexual or non-sexually,I need to be able to tell them I am a "Fem-male",and clearly define my belief,and a big part of that is "the only males I select to have sex with are -Str8/Cis-gender,heterosexually men-,and my role is 100% percent female like"  " I am a sexual alternative to a real female,I have told some people!