"I could be as this Fem-male"

"We contain multitudes," wrote Walt Whitman, referring not to the highly contested diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder but to the fact that we see ourselves radically differently in different contexts. Everyone struggles with that existential plum, "Who am I?" For people who are overly concerned with other people's impressions, or who feel a core aspect of themselves, such as gender or sexuality, is not being expressed, this struggle is acute.

For a heterosexual male or female say in a scenario : suddenly finds themselves in a society where the majority of people are Third-Gender,either ,Fem-male or Male-fem whatever one wishs to title our gender.Suddenly the heterosexual understands "Reality",
funny thing the Third-Gender people have no problem accepting the Heterosexual,because that is "Reality" as well.

Philosophy,paradox's and Scenario's(what if's) of being a Fem-male (as personal gender)

The Need to be Indentified by one's self (personal self-awareness):

   The reasons why one needs / desires to be socially understood and indentified as they truly              are:
                For myself that is "third-gender" Fem-male" or even she-male fine,

              A look at surgery- breast augmentation:
Breast development induced by hormone therapy in transgender women. [44]

              comment I made on a site 4-3-2018, " I personally smoke,and agree,it is completely not rational,thus I am a " addict", I also call myself,see myself as a "Fem-male"(third gender), If on a percentage basis I had to rate myself "mentally in terms of gender",I would say I am 80% female,this I base on my likes,desires(sexually I am mainly cisgender female,in that I prefer the traditional female role,yet with right female and right circumstances I could play a lesbian role as Fem).Rationally I have no need to transition to female physically,however if I was 25 years younger,and feel as I do now,know what I know now,and state that American Culture has evolved to,as far as being more accepting of people like myself,(though I feel has much more evolving to go),..Any way,If I was younger I most likely would start "HRT" treatment to appear as "Female" or be publicly look at as a "She-male",berdache,Two-Spirit,etc individual,that sexually prefer role as female.I don't expect others to be as I am,wish them to be as I am,any more then expect others to hold my spiritual views,yet I very much relate to Zorn's request(below),we can't remain in a state of "Apathy",either when people create,project their views upon society,in forms of racism,gender differences,etc..I try these days to be mindful of my own thoughts,be aware of: "is the thought I am having nurturing,growth oriented for all of society,not just myself,or is it destructive,harmful,non-growth oriented in anyway?".

I am pretty sure if I was say 30 years old ,,any could afford hormone treatment,(Hormone replacement therapy (male-to-female) ),
To produce feminization and/or demasculinization in transgender women and genderqueer individuals.
I much would like to be seen as a "She-male" or third-gender person.

I personally think of myself as very rational,utilitarian type,thus the degree to which I want to look female is different then many,also I have breasts,so enlarging them is something I might do,I have a penis,that is a part of me,I don't wish to remove ,there is no rational reason,I simply don't use it to penetrate another person's body.


Below I want to take a look at the Rational of the modern Female: 1.  like wearing high heels,this pertains to many cross-dressing males as well.
  2. Wearing make-up
  3.Slutty clothes,,unless your looking for a date,,(which I can relate to,,I have been very,very slutty in my past)

        A look at completely dressing as Fem-male, Psychology of personally and publicly being                    indentified as whom one is  as : True- Self".

  The Need to be Indentified by one's self (personal self-awareness):

           Obviously being a Fem-male is not a easy thing to see one's self as,personally not something I just selected to be.

                 1. Believe me being sexual attracted only to, a specific type heterosexual black male,makes it next to impossible to finding                      a mate / partner

                  2. Wanting to at times look social / publicly as a Female or to appear as a Fem-male(I often have thought,it would be simplest to simply have a tee-shirt made up,that says " I proud to be a  Psychologically, Fem-male"

Females rational

      If you wear high heels, kick yourself

Women! Are you mad? More to the point: am I mad? Are we all suffering from a mass mental derangement? Some sort of collective fugue state?

We must be, mustn’t we? How else to explain the reaction to the news this week that Nicola Thorp, a temporary worker at PwC in central London, has launched a campaign to make the practice of compelling women to wear high heels illegal. She turned up for the first day at work on the reception at PwC in a pair of flat shoes and her employment agency, Portico, sent her home, without pay.

The spotlight has now been thrown on an obviously discriminatory employment practice. Bravo to her. It’s exactly the sort of thing we should feel outraged about. Why should a woman have to suffer pain and discomfort simply to do her job?

Helpful Links related to Self-Awareness

In 1999,I was fairly sure I was not a gender simply titled Homosexual,as I felt the role sexually that fit me was only the Female role,I had no desire to be with Females,nor gay men,I only desired heterosexual men,and Black

myself posing in 1999

Socially if Third-Gender was fully accepted at this time say as the Fa'afafine of third-gender in Samoa, American Samoa and the Samoan diaspora

,I may have had breast Augmentation,grow a Fem type hair style,and when not working as a carpenter,I would of dressed Fem like.

I often would imagine what it would be like to have a baby,even desired to with some of the men I was with,to the point of telling them,"I wish I could have your baby".I know it is silly,yet fantasy it is!.

warning very erotic / sexual in nature

A man performing autofellatio

 my first real sexual experince

(based on actual events),  granted  my writing skills need improving, honestly  trying to take old memories and put them into words.)     The year was 1975(age 13), I was approached by a fellow student…(a black male, which I did not know, never  met, same age as myself)..out of the blue he came and whispered in my ear one morning ,as I was walking down the hall of my then, junior high school…he said to me “I can tell that you would like to suck my cock”…then he smiled ,as he preceded down the hall ahead of me, with  a walk, a female might intentionally partake in to define her self, a role as ,”see what I got”. I was in horror!, trying to imagine, that  what just happened, “to the point of stopping in my tracks, I turned and dashed to the first exit to the outside world, feeling tainted and inflected by a idea of ,or was the shock of being discovered?

All day, All night, the next day, all the time!….like be taken by a spell, I couldn’t escape.

I didn’t want to even go to school, in fear, that ,he might spot me again, omg! , what  then. and what would I do!, what  if my friends found out, so  now it was really “Top Secret”.

I had to go to school!..

I walk in the door of my study room class, by now it’s  been all morning , I haven’t seen “Him” again and believe me, that’s all, I’ve been able to do all morning, is keep a eye out for him, at least sense “First Contact”.

I set at a table next to a friend,at least wishing a friend!, setting  my books in front of me, getting seated, I naturally scan the view of my surroundings, OMG!, its  “Him”!, semi concealed next to a large column, setting two tables away,…and staring at me!, with  the biggest brightest smile a human could possible have!

My mind is over-whelmed, I can’t think, can’t  do, it’s  like I am frozen to my seat, I open one of my books, but it doesn’t matter which one, cause  I have lost all ability to even read, I know he is staring at, “Me”, his “prey !, I truly  have become!”, 5 minutes pass or no maybe it really was only 30  seconds, I have no idea of time any longer, I am processed by “Him” in my mind!

I want to flee, but where?..home?,no he will follow me! I can’t ..besides,that means standing up,..that will bring more attention upon “Me”,,,then,,in a moment of pathetic bravery ,I conjure up some survival instinct, maybe, it must of been that, primitive need to flee, thus needing to map one’s escape route!,..so with one eye,,as though a pretend periscope, I take a peek!….OMG!..he has his lips puckered, and with quick flick of his hand, throws “Me” a kiss!,,I am defeated,,like a terrified squirrel,,with books in hand,I jump up and race out the door!

Relief,,yet what do I do in this “Freedom of the Hall”?..I panic..then head the direction called “Away”,…away is a good word I can grasp at the moment,..yet a new image just impressed into my mind,”Those two big lips,”!..I think of church,,then what happens to those whom have done bad!,,I ask,..”what have I done bad?”..all can think of is “maybe I cused”,,then think..OMG!..”I said “Dam” last week when I cut my thumb”..

I wandered around the halls,trying to look as though, I knew where I was heading, yet wasting time till my next class, which was gym, last class..a bit of hope!

Going down the stairs,to locker rooms,  I did my best to get undressed, get gym shorts and shirt on,.I couldn’t talk to anyone,due to fact that ,most likely ,I would simply start mumbling something to the effect of,..”Him,Him,,two lips”,in a fashion that of  which primitive man,..200,000 years ago may have conjured up when,, processed by some unknown deity.

I made it up to the old gym,directly above the lockeroom/showers,seen a person I knew,I wish I could call him friend,yet at this point,,I no longer knew if he knew of my new contact,my new found admirer,,that I called,…”Him”.   I envisioned,the rumors spreading to all the people I knew!..oh my,..in another day, maybe two, or every single soul in this school will think “Him”,is my new Friend.

There is a track above,a track for running laps if one had the liki’n to, built maybe I think, when Carl Sandburg was young,didn’t really know,at this point, and any thought,,I could conjure up, that might bring hope,was fine by me.

I look up,,just to simply look!,I wasn’t searching for anything,had no real intent,wished no harm to anyone,..what do I see?..”Him”,…I’m beaten!,my face falls into the palms of my hands..I wish to weep even bawl, yet must be a man!.     looking up, he has the biggest smile, I maintain contact,eye in a attempt to prove my bravery..he doesn’t flinch!,,anger builds up in me,,it must be like the fight instinct, a little bird  has just before being eaten by a cat!,…not much good!

“Him” then smiles, gives me a little blow kiss, I try to tell myself that someone who doesn’t like me, has hired him to do this!, then ,he sends it floating down to me, with a flick of his wrist, I can no longer think, it’s  as though I was on a acid trip, living in a world surreal,…..I turn away in defeat.

I guess I functioned up on the gym floor, though I have no real clear memory of what really happened 30 seconds ago. Yet , now found myself in the locker room below, with all my every  effort to get dressed, and seated next to some one, whom looked like someone from my past, he talked to me like he was my friend!, then, as I looked up to this friend, as I struggled to tie my shoe, “Him” was there!..he stood behind  the one I think was my friend, then as if in a flash and rubbing his towel onto his chest, all wet from the showers, he stood behind and to side of my friend. All I could do now was stare at what had my attention, a black cock,,the size of a bottle of pop!, hanging  right there in my view!, “Michael”- Him said,….I couldn’t look up I was held by a trance, a complete denial set into my mind. Then I heard what I thought was. “It’s just for you! Michael ” and  he was gone,,my friend ,the one sitting next to me, then said to me “Why he say it was just for you for?”…I had no reply for his request, I stood and fled.

I remember running home, least  parts of the journey, yet  now found myself undressing, the focus was” I must take a shower , that will wake me up from this dream!”

I remember the water felt so good, warm  and good, the  soap smelt good, yet I was processed!,,now in my mind was a “big black dick”!,,and looking down to my feet to see if they where there!,,as a feeling from down there,from somewhere new,,I see I am erect,,now something inside me is starting to come out,,like I was throwing-up ,yet from my own erect!,,I started to feel spasms inside me from it,,started jerking about,with my hips.Quick I turning the water off, at the same time a great contraction,then spasm hit me from down there,,then a huge glob of what looked like spit ,shot out of the tip of my cock,,buckling me over,,another shot out,moan-out like I was hurt,,yet not hurt,,it felt so good,,OMG!,,what as Him done to me now?..I touched this stuff that looked like snot,,cautious,,wondering what it was,then I touched my cock,,it was very touchy itself,.I stood there think how did he cause me do what he did just now..and it did feel so very good,,and it seemed I was awaking from the dream,,I just was in.

I ate my dinner when called to the table,mom I remember asked “how was your day?”..I could not explain,so just said “good”,,then ate all I could.

In my room,I stared at the walls,all violet they where,the color I picked,when asked awhile back,”what color you want for your room? Mom wanted to know.   I drifted off to sleep with visions of “Him’s” cock in my head,,,I dream’t,,not sure of what,,yet “Him

was in it,,when I awoke..I felt wet as though I “Wet the Bed!”,yet upon inquiring..that was it,,omg,,it happened again in my sleep!..I smelt the sheets..I had never known a smell like this before,,grabbing the sheets up,I headed for the laundry..

I made it to school,,the dream seemed at least distant,yet in the back of my head,visions of Him,sliping in and out of my view,along with what happened in the shower last night and what was that dream, that made me do it again?

Last class was gym,..I figured I would see”Him”,yet the class was broken up,and he went with another group.My group went out side,the others ran laps inside on the track. About 15 minutes we went in early as it began to rain, coach told us to just shower up, I could hear what I thought where the others running up on the track,,so I thought, so I hurry, get a shower, …before “Him” gets down here..I was actually the first one in,hurried,,finished rinsing off,wrapped towel around myself..I head toward my locker..here is “Him”,but 20 feet coming at me ,towel around his neck,not his waist,doing his girlie walk,his big black cock swaying about with each step,,he says”Hi Michael”..to my amazement,,in a meeking sissy voice I say “hi”..as I look downward submissive like as I step aside of him letting him pass,,at the same moment,.thank God for my towel,,for I was instantly erect!..I hurry to my locker,,sat down,,sat there waiting for my cock to un-harden,then,the more I waited,,it more it throbbed,the more I thought,,the more I thought of the view I just got of “Him”..then suddenly sitting right there..what happened in the shower was happening right here in public,sitting in front of my locker,I just lost control,,and began shaking,my rock hard cock and hip as though began jerking as though a mind of their own,then then I lurched forward from the spasm as the first shot of snot erupted into my towel ,which I had covering me,,with three intense jerks and spits from my cock,,thanks fully I was able to get my locker open..reaching in grabbing my jeans,I quick got my legs in,,pulled them up and on,the next thing I did was get my towel in my gym bag after getting my shirt and sock out,,I was dressed in less the 2 minutes,and headed for home alone.

On the walk home,all I could think of was what is happening to me,How did seeing him,…why does thinking of him,seeing him and his cock, give such a great feeling,the most pleasure I ever known?

I was able to get a little home work right away,did the few chords mom had asked me to do,I then went and started doing some doodling/drawing in my room..I was fine for a short while,,the thoughts of “Him”,,suddenly,almost instantly filled my mind,,thoughts like “what is he really like,..he was nice today,,he really has always been nice,,he is good looking..I wonder if he likes drawing?..then the thought of,”I wonder if his cock does what mine’s does!”,OMG!,,my cock was instantly stiff and tight inside my jeans,I hurried as though some one sick and ready to throw up,made a dash for the bathroom.Once inside the bath door shut and locked..I relaxed a bit,seated now on the edge of the tub, I pulled my jeans down along with underpants, and set there touching my very erect cock..and in awl ,,asking myself as I looked down at it..”why is it getting so hard like this,what is this stuff called that spits out the tip then some inter desire over came,I leaned over,,seeing it was leaking a clear liquid , licked the tip..Omg!,,this tastes beautiful!,,thinking to my self,” why have I never done this before?..leaning over further, I easily took the tip in to mouth,again thinking…why didn’t I do this before,I began with focused vigor sucking,,just sucking like I couldn’t get enough,pulling this part of myself deeper into myself,,sucking hard to get it in,at the same time forcing and pulling my mouth to it. Then the image of “Him’s large cock” filled my mind,and with a burst of energy,I pulled myself down my own throat,no more to go,with my lips pressed to my balls,,and imagining Him and what it would be like if my cock now was his cock,,I began to jerk with the spasms,forcing me to lean back a bit,as the first glob,burst into mouth,I held my cock firmly in my mouth,as with every spasm,came a powerful jerk along with another squirt of this new snot like stuff!,I bucked about through the strong six or seven forceful spasms and ejections of my juices,as the spasms subsided,I began swallowing what was already in my mouth,,then began sucking with a vigor,,all that I manage out of the tip,till I became to  Sensitive,and had to give up.

My mind was racing with excitement/disbelief/and wonder,of what I had just done,,as I lay alone on my bed,,day dreaming,wondering if I should be now ashamed,for I had just created a special secret,mine alone..now thinking maybe cursed in the eye’s of God!..but yet it felt on the other ,it felt natural,as well as a revealing of a truth I sensed.

For some reason, this morning wasn’t as difficult to muster of the will to go to school.I even found that for some reason I wasn’t nearly as worried about seeing “Him”,except for gym..I was worry about ,doing again what I did yesterday,..however to remedy that,..I decided I would just wait and go home and take a shower…the day went good over , all seen “Him” in gym class,did” my sissy hi “to him again when said ” hi Michael”..I heard some class mates whispering loudly,,something to the effect of “Michael likes him”,..then I dashed home,,the whole way home walking as fast as I could take a shower,and now do what I did yesterday which felt so good,,I got to my house,dropped off my books and stuff ,..then raced to the shower,undressed,,stepped in to the warm water..by now fully erect to the point of hurting,,I didn’t dare touch it in fear of causing me to lose control.  I finished drying off,,I stepped out..all I could think about was,,sucking my cock,,I soon was sitting on the toilet seat,doing just that,,taking my time..forcing it down my throat,then out to suck it all in,,now though the whole time wishing it was “Him”. Seeing his cock in my mind, now was graving ,I wondered

Walking down the hall toward my second period class,I felt a tap on my right shoulder,it was “Him”..I said hi quickly,,then as he walked along beside me..he said” you know the woods down by the “dairy”..I reply “yes”…Him..just said” meet me there right after dark, 7pm,..if you want me”..then he hurried ahead of me,,Omg!..it was like having a “Hot potato burning my hand,and I can’t let go!.All the rest of the day,..again under his spell,..after lunch..I had to rush to a stall in the bathroom ,because I had been erect nearly the last two hours, “from imagining what meeting him would bring”..again I was mentally in that state of surreal!..

At home we ate dinner normal at 6pm..and being in 7th grade now,our curfew was at 9pm..and normally we were never asked what we where going to do,just the “Law was back by nine!,don’t make me come looking for you!(we had a step-father but he was like a stranger in the house,he did what he wanted, when he wanted us boys didn’t care,as long as he wasn’t around us!)..and tonight I really didn’t wish to see,,so I went out ,jumped on my bike,,and pedaled to “anywhere”..sense all that I could think of ,..is “what happens at 7pm”. I rode around making my general direction,point north,the way of the “Dairy”,..in the dairy was a clock, and the dairy was similar to a modern day convenience store..getting to the store I grabbed some bubble gum,looked at the clock, it said 6:58..Omg!..I was no longer calm..I walked out,in a daze,,got on my bike.started to go,pulled out,a car I pulled in front of slammed the backs on to avoid running me over,..I pedaled fast and right for the woods..as I approach down a narrow dirt path,,I seen “Him” sitting up the hill a bit on a old stump.I waved the walk was only about 100 feet,,so soon was near him,,my heart was beating out of my chest..as soon as I was about 10 feet away.he hopped off the stump,,and said “follow me”,,I did, as if a trained puppy. Being familiar with this place and growing up playing here,,I was certain where he lead me,,,we said nothing, and there business in the air.

My guess was correct,he lead me to very small space in the woods,a place I always liked,..due the the fact you were well concealed,yet one could easily see anyone approaching,,suddenly I had a sense of being at ease with “Him”.Stopping he turned to me,as he unbuttoned,then unzipped his pants,I could only watch with wonder,He softly said” it will good for you,,I know”,as he slid his pants down,,omg!,his cock was already erect and pointed toward the sky,I watched it move about,swaying side to side as he stepped out of the,all the while watching me. Some what folding his pants into a pad,he the placed upon,the old tree stump he was in front of,then sat down on them,”Come here now for me,I really at this point would of jumped of a t.v tower for him I believe!..it was though by some long lost natural instinct,I knew what to do,,and very much want to do it!.

Destiny for myself was being set at the moment my lips and tongue touched and tasted the tip of his cock,I didn’t know it then,yet I do now.”Lick it awhile, we going spend a lot of time together,you and I,so no hurry”,I liked a lot when he said that,..omg!,did his juices taste good,his smell,the feel of it, as I slowly took more and more into my mouth,all the while my tongue busy feeling,tasting..all I wanted was to devour it,swallow it all,and that was my goal.My world was perfect,here on my knee’s in front him,pleasing ,him wanting him like nothing I wanted before,as though I was trained for this,,I sucked it,then swallowed it ,I couldn’t believe it,down my throat and so big!..I my self was soaked from the juices flowing from my limb little cock…I wondered why I was erect,didn’t care,,I was having a contant climax in my mind,,the juices where pouring out of my cock much more then when,I climaxed when alone..he then said,,”I am going feed you my cum,,in just a few,when I tell you ,I want you, to let me take it out of your mouth,keep your mouth open though,”.With it my gripping him,,he was moaning now,and jerking about,he had one hand on my shoulder the other stroking his cock for me,”OK.ready.I opened mouth up..watching and waiting,then,,he was huffing,stroking.then as I watched the head of his big thick cock,heard him moan out”awwww,yyy”,and quick thrust,the head of touch my lower lip,as a huge wad of cum impacted the roof of my mouth,with another wad shot out as he squealed out,,then he moaned out,”take it just in your lips”..steader he was,,I did as he said,softly holding the “head”..”ok Michael..just let it pump in”.I savored it beyond imagine,as it pumped in steady,by little gushes his juices pumped out..,,I wasn’t climaxing by way of my cock,yet I was having intense spasms..once he had stopped having the little convolutions,,I began to swallow his cum,hoping all the while ,just maybe more would come..”Michael,,,oh you did so well”then pulled me into his lap.I took the head in my mouth and gently held..as I laid my head on his thigh.

I think our second meeting was some what defining that I was not like a normal young male..I asked him “would you like to go in my bottom“,,He even cautioned me” if I do,you really are fem”

We met at same place,” once he was up inside me and climaxing”..I never climaxed at any time,yet the most “Psychologically” pleasure I have ever felt..I climaxed “physically”,just walking home from the “thought of what happened“our minds are powerful things!

It’s “Psychologically” been my secret role my whole life….that how society oppress’s the individual with their belief’s

Our next encounter was a Saturday ,there was a very large wooded area,I spent a lot of time exploring,skinny dipping in the large beaver ponds along it’s stream..I asked him if he’d like to see where it was, he was, so we decided to many a day of it,it was warm sunny etc. We packed lunch and hit the road on our bikes.

Opon getting there we,hid our bikes in the bush,and set off,..getting to the beaver..I reached in ,tested the water,,it was very warm,,,I turned to him and said “lets swim”..so we shedded clothes..I dove right in,,he reluctantly waded in til above his knees,,and splashed the water at me!..paddling over to him,,watching his cock swaying about..I was instantly wanting it in me,..so when I got to him..I took it in my mouth,in moments he was fully erect,,I stood ,turned,he mounted as he pushed into me, I pulled him into deeper water,,which we found,,help with “lube” aspect of getting it in me.Thrusting hard for maybe 5 minutes,he climaxed in me.We explored about the woods ,then would come back to pond,,he would Mount me in the water,climax,,thru the course of the day we repeated this 5 times,,then had to head home.

At school we talked that morning a bit in the hall,,I remember quite a few students slowing to stare at us,,which odd,yet the gay term popped in my mind,,I had to ask him what “Gay” meant?..so next break from classes upon seeing him in hall,I went up to him and whispered “what’s gay mean?”..he kind laughed quiet like as he said” men who like men sexually”..I replied “so”..(I didn’t in reality know it was bad).

The next day…the word I was gay was though out the school..omg!

Him and I met are usually place by the Dairy,,I told him I could hear students whispering as they walked past me in the hall today..he replied” that’s cause their White Daddy’s   telling them about blacks and gays bad”..as he got his cock up in me,bending me over the stump,,as he slowly went in and out of me..he asked “your folks don’t talk bad about blacks do they ?”..Trying to think as I squirmed about,and whined as he thrust…”no,no,”I moaned”…he was in me this day for longest ever maybe 15 minutes before climaxing up in me.Upon getting dressed,,we sat and talked,he told me to not pay attention to those others about being gay,he said then” your a lot me,just a lot more girl in your mind,you like violet,art etc.”..”yep” I do,,don’t know why,just do”..He said then “you really like me up in your bottom right…?./.yes/.he then asked “ok…I have a good friend,he seen us together Saturday, he asked me to ask you,,if he could go in your bottom..so I asking”..my reply was quick”who is he?”…”you don’t know him ,he is 16,lives by me”.. I said ” not sure. is he nice like you?”…replying to me “yeah,,he very good,,he has really big cock too”..I replied “How big?”,,”he replied” really,really big,,he and I measured it one day with yard stick..ten and a half inches”..my reply was “your eight right?..guess that two and half more inches could go in me, you’ll be with me right??”..replying he said” don’t worry..we will lube him good with vasoline,it will slide right in and up in you,,he has had it in my bottom many times”..replying to him” you like it to?”..he replied “he is the best,,I will tell him you will tonight when I see him,,,see you at school tomorrow at school”..he jumped on his bike and rode off.

Meeting “Him’s” friend….It was Friday after gym class was over,escaping and out the exit,I headed home,once out the door,,I was happy to feel free from school, and looking forward to exploring the woods,..the weather was great for a september day,very warm and just great. Hearing a voice behind me,,I turn to see to see “Him” approching on his bike, soon he was next to me walking his bike ,and asking “Can we go to the beaver pond tommorrow?”….I was hoping all day,,”day dreaming in classes”, him might ask what he at that moment did.,,So feeling though he had read my mind,..I felt a bit embarrassed,shy,found out and needy all wrapped up in one,..my reply was like that of what a “13 year old boy whom had just got caught putting on girls clothes or playing with dolls”…wimpisly, I replied “Yes!”..he said then,..”my friend said he could meet us at the dairy tommorrow(sat),,right after lunch ,,and we could then ride out to the beaver pond”.(then he jump up on his bike and headed off). A vision instantly popped in my head of this young assitant coach whom often took showers with us,,,who had a huge cock,,whom a few days ago ,,Him..told me “michael ,my friends cock is bigger this his!”..Omg!,I thought,in seconds my penis was fully erect,,I began to walk fast..wanting to run,,then the convulsions( Orgasmic) starting to over take me,..up ahead was a large maple tree right next to the side walk,I run to it ,with both hands almost place to the bark,I lean into the big tree just as the convulsions start jerking my pelvis involuntarily jerking my whole body,(,what Him calls “Cum”),I feel it squrting out,inside the confines of my jeans,,3 very powerful convulsions,,-(as though having the dry heaves I must of appeared to a friend whom rides up to me),asking me .”You ok?”)-then they reduce enough,,that I can reply to my friend-…”I think I ate something bad,thought I was throwing up”.

Saturday morning I awoke..day look great,,sunny,warm already,,my mind began to soon take me to the idea of” what will happen today,..then how can I get ready,,what do I do?.
The image of that big cock of the assitant coach,,only “black”..was in my head,,imagining it erect!..Omg!..now I was erect!,,I had to stay in my room now..omg!..I thought what can I do?..(at this point,believe or not I had never even truly just alone masturbated..I had only been sucking my self)..I laid back on bed.lifted my legs up and over me ,so they where pressed against the wall behind my head,,took my cock in my mouth,and swallowed it,sucked it hard,,in 15 seconds the cum began to pulse into my mouth as I jerked about with convulsions.

I rested a second,swallowed all the cum,,then…almost squeamishly went to bath room in the hall out side my bedroom,,got a drink..,then realizing how powerful this “climax thing is,by climaxing I can now “think” at least rationally!

I thought of what “Him” had said earlier about “need to get lubed up good for his friend”…so I began searching for a jar of vasoline,,soon discovering it in the medicine cabinet,…holding it as though it was “My best friend!”..I quickly got back to my room,..thought to my self,..”Ok, what am I going to wear?”…short and shirt of course!,,”Ok, what to take?..my knap sack for lunch/sacks/drinks!..of course!, so finding my knap sack,,I got my vasoline secured inside of it,in a sock,,sock under a towel,case before I leave my house and mom happens to look in it, at least it is not seen upon a quick look in!.

My turn to mow the yard,so I set off doing that,..which we had a big yard,and only a push lawn mower, which normally if I did it properly,mow and do trimming(there was no such thing as weed eaters then)..it took about two hours,that was if I didn’t get to talking to my neighbor the “Mechanic”..whom I liked to very much to..to learn of working on cars.

Lawn done,..I went in house..got drink and looked at clock, it saying 11:00, I headed for the shower,,first made sure I “poopied”..then jumped in shower,,got go and clean..”I want to look good for them,,I wanted them to want me”…I thought ,”what can I do ,how they may like me to appear?…what do girls do to look good?,,,flowers,pink,bows,,,I instantly thought of my “secret barbie dolls”..(they I had in toy closet )..I went and took a peek at them quickly,..thinking maybe they would give me a idea..” A neck-lace “..I had made one ..with a craft kit we had!..it I saved,and had in my room..so headed there to find it!.

Finding it,..I thought to myself..”I made it for my step-sister..but she wouldn’t be visiting til next week end,,plus her and I often did crafts,played with the barbie’s ,girl things we did together..so she would understand..she was the only one I would be able to talk to about..”me having “Him and now his friend as my boyfriends”…the idea of telling her..helped me feel better ,,just then.

It was 11:45 ,my brother was watching T.V still.(no one else was around)…I yelled at him..”I am going to the woods”..all my family knew what I, mean’t by Woods..as I began running a Trap-line there when I was 10. He replied..K!..as he watched some show.

I grabbed my knap/sack,,put my neck-lace in it,..my thought, was I would stop shortly before arriving at the “Dairy and see them”..I would put my neck-lace on.

There was a long dirt path through a semi-wooded lot which lead to the dairy,a short cut and the normal way,and very near where “Him” and I had been meeting so he could “breed me”. it lead to the back side of the dairy.

I was near enough now to the back of the dairy,,so I stopped,,got my neck-lace out,,and put it around my neck.then preceded to ride on around to the front of the dairy,,at that moment two black guy turned the corner coming from the front,,,It was Him and is friend..they pulled up in front of me ,as we came to a stop..placing our feet on the ground.Him quickly introduced his friend and I ,,then said..”Lets go..his friend and I followed behind.

I was thinking to myself..”this new friend is very tall at least 6 foot,,yet trying to convince myself as I peddled behind them on the street that lead out of town, “he did talk like he might be 16,his face looked 16,..so he was 16..good enough,,I convinced my self!.

Getting to the beaver Pond,,…Him was the first to say “Lets get undresses as he instantly began unbuttoning his shorts,,his friend and I followed his lead..Standing there complete and nude,,I looked at this new friend,,my eyes where glued to the biggest erect penis I could imagine…and it was right there,..and like my father’s it was un-circumcised!. Him’s voice woke me from my trance…”Michael,Michael..you like it?”..squeamishly…I said “yes”,,Him then said in a half way commanding voice(which I think I needed at that moment)..”he loves sucked on,,go try it”..Omg!..my knee’s where shaking as I stepped near him..as soon as I neared him,,I dropped my knees to the ground,more in need of I was afraid they would buckle and I would fall!,…

My knees fell upon some stick,so I got them cleared,then look up at this massive cock,un-circumcised,now a clear line of liquid hung from the tip,Him’s voice I heard then from the side,” Now get your lips around the tip”..I did..”Now slowly take your fingers and side the skin back, his looks like ours..that skin just covers the head of it..you get a nice surprise”…I took my fingers and did as Him said,,holding the tip in my mouth I slid the skin back.Omg!…a huge amount of that clear liquid(pre-cum I know now it is called),..flowed in to my mouth!..as like some innate instict,I began suckling,,like a baby on a breast,,swallowing all I could get..even Him said “easy Michael..before you make him cum,let’s get your bottom ready for it,,,”Him” came around behind me,helping me get on my knees so my bottom was up and in Mounting position..”Him” had gotten vasoline out,which he brought himself,,he began lubing my bottom,as I sucklied on “Friends”,,then Him said” I am going to squirt some lube up in your bottom,so don’t be alarmed”…I felt something like a finger sized thing enter me,,then the liQuid..”Ok try to hold that in you til “Friend” gets his cock started in you a bit”..Him said

Moving over to the old fallen tree….”Him”,..then said to me “Lets get you spread eagle over on that fallen old smooth tree,I picked it out..last time just for this moment”. Helping me up as I allow “friend’s cock free from my mouth,,I allowed myself to be guided to the tree,..Him layed a towel that he brought,,on the tree,, then told me to lay face down,so my cock was on the towel, my leg on the side of the tree..I did as directed,,Him asked me “you have ridi’n horse before,this kinda like bare-back riding!,,I will set in front of you,so you can have my cock if you want…but wait a bit while “friend” get you loosen up,..he and I have talked,,and he knows you have never taken 10.5 inches,,and he is going to go slow,,and give you a very long mount,,a half hour maybe”..just then I felt “Friend’s”..left hand grip my left hip firmly,then the pressure of his cock head against my bottom opening,..then more pressure, then ..a plop as the mushroom head of his cock sunk totally in,,I involuntarily jerked hard and wimpered out..”..I now had my head laying in Him’s lap,”Him”began talking as he gently ran his fingers thru my hair”Michael,,relax,.he is going slide it up to about 8″,,then you feel some pressure,,there is ,it kinda curved like..it just his cock going round that curve is all..so there will be another “plop”,kinda like when his head entered you,,so relax,,let yourself be taken,,it well be fine”.

“Friend”was sliding up in me slow..being un-circumcised felt different yet not sure how..but very,very good!sinking up in me..then I could feel the pressure,I tensed a bit,and moaned out,,then “Him” said “ok Michael ,,now let it in,,I’ll hold on to you”..then I could feel “Friend” pushing harder into me…then,..it was more like a intense internal,and lots of pressure..then like a stomach cramp,,I began wimpering and squirming ..grasping.”Him”‘s legs tight,,”Michael..one more inch and he is in”..I just started crying out,with moans,wimpers,,non stop now.”Michael,his is in ,,now he is going keep there for a while,and just barely move it in and out,you wiggle on it,,soon it will be driving you wild..”..I couldn’t be quiet,except for the moments I would get Him’s cock in my mouth,then let let it drop out as “friend” pushed a bit,.then bawl out again,,,then friend,,slowly started to with draw it..omg..I gobbled up Him’s cock quickly..swallow all 8 inches..like I wished his cock to gag me,and shut me up,nearly out of me,.. “Friend” stopped his withdraw from me,..then with ,Like a slow swing of a batter hitting a ball,,Friend sunk all of himself back up in me..scream out and clinging.. to Him even tugging,,as I wrapped my arm around Him’s waist now,holding on,,again,did same.again..then again..til he was moving fully,out ..I was shaking terribly now,I couldn’t have got up on my feet if I tried..”Friend ” began to moan out,then he start convulsing,,just a few short thrusts,,then he stopped,moaning out loudly.he started jerking about..I felt the warmth his cum as it drained into my bottom,,then “him” said “Michael get my cock in your mouth,,I am ready to cum to,,I got Him’s cock head just inside my mouth,when the first pulse of cum,spat out and onto my tongue,Him jerked about,squirting another,,til as least 5 loads collected in my mouth,,wrapping my lips firmly around the head I carefully suckled out the last amount,,all the while,driving Him crazy,,making him squirm..til ,he finally..had to pull away..then saying “Michael..you driving me crazy..”…I giggled a bit,,still swallowing cum..I said”I had to get a little revenge after what happened to me!”..we all laughed.

to be continued-2-20-2018     a site of mine,warning very erotic-My life as a Fem-boy

I like this reply at a "Forum about early/first contact sexuality"...questions is "Is there any tendency to be homosexual at the age of 12? What does Freud say?" reply is "

Who cares what Freud says? Nobody in modern psychology pays much attention to him, except to laugh at his laughably unscientific approach to human behaviour.

I was attracted to guys from well before 12. At age 11 I fell in love for the first time with a guy and he with me. This was in 1975… no porn at our homes, no cable tv, no Internet, no VCRs, and not even colour tv. We had 3 channels of broadcast tv that shut down before midnight. And yet… we discovered and tried every sexual position and act any modern gay man might have in their repertoire. We were very ordinary boys in very ordinary suburban Australia in the mid-70s.

So, my view is, if I and my boyfriend can figure this out from first principles with zero sex education or templates to follow… it must be innate behaviour. Nobody taught me. Nobody even gave me *heterosexual* behaviour to view!!!

Ultimately though… none of that matters. Why should we worry about what consenting humans do with their bodies and genitalia?? Why should there be any stigma surrounding those things? There is no logical reason. It’s all just myth and prudishness mixed with controlling tendencies from most religions surrounding procreation."

I personally agree with the above reply...I liked being my friend's above,,, fem-boy

I like to at this point,bring up the Topic of Sex education,"who and how should sex education be taught to youth"?, for example I at this point age 13 had no idea what was happening to my body,my emotions,my desires.

I do know now to oppress reality,hide from it does nothing but cause mental illness.The abstinence-only” course is very unrealistic,(site below takes a look at this "slut-shaming",,I see the abstinence is not taking "humanity" at all realistic.

I was 13 years old,due to Societies Social Constructed Oppression of Human nature,no one to talk to but my friend whom has secretly taken me as his "Fem-boy",he is saying I am just sexual girl-like,and I very much want to be his girl-like friend,it feels very good,I want to be with him sexual as his fem-boy,I never imagine,being like him,"boy-like",that boys do to girls,what he does to me,so naturally,I want to be like a girl,cause girls like to suck cock,and have cock in their bottoms(I had no clue about female parts).He just told me some boys just have more female brains like myself,he guess,Yet at school,the other boys ,called him gay,,and made fun,,they didn't know I was his "girl-like friend",,I had no idea what "Gay was"..my friend told me,,they call him gay,cause he likes "fem-boys" like me,he told me he wouldn't tell anyone that I was a "Fem-boy"-I am in a bad situation now!,,no adult to talk to,or friend my age.

Then in 1996 ,I realized I was a Fem-male

Realizing truth-being a (she-male or third gender type)

(Actual Events)     Posing for Life Drawing Classes(which I began doing in 1996),looking back on why I started modeling ..1.I had seen a ad in a small weekly publication aimed at the Arts/entertainment etc..on the back page there where always :Classified ads  A want ad titled ” Life Drawing Models wanted”..myself ,one whom loves to draw,loves the arts,nudity never bothered me and being self-employed as a carpenter,I felt I needed a social life,….so I called the number shown,,it was “Davenport Museum of Arts”..within a week I was posing nude,within a month I was posing for 3 different College Life Drawing Classes as well.

In one College class,there was a black male student(I’ll call him William)..he ask me if I ever surf the web when we where chatting during a break between long poses, I replied ” I didn’t have a computer,yet had thought of getting one.
The following week I was setting at a desk,trying to figure out this new gaget in front of me called a “personal computer,had it hooked to my phone..and boom,I was looking at the “World Wide Web”.

I modeling for the college weekly that William attended Thursday evening,so naturally when Thursday night arrived and I spotted William..I told him I was able to surf the web ,his reply was “cool”,,then he told me to download “yahoo chat”,and what his screen name was. After class that night I was soon on yahoo chat and chatting with William.
He and I soon where chatting nightly,and had been for several weeks,then one night he asked me if I would come pose for him at his place,I told him sure,or he could come to my place(I was single with my own house). Soon we agreed this coming weekend would work,saturday afternoon.

Saturday arrived,and found William and alone,myself posing nude,as he sketched me,,we chatted,as he sketched to a degree,,he then asked if any guys ever hit on me,I replied” not yet” ,his reply was ” I am surprised,as good a shape your in,handsome and all”..replying,I just silly like ” I guess ,I just ain’t been lucky”. He sketched in silence awhile, then asked “you ever been with a guy? “..When I was young,I sucked a black guys cock few times.William then asks…”how old was he?”….(conversation)
Michael- “he was my age ..13”
William-“did you like it”
Michael-“yes,,very much so”
William-“did he climax in your mouth”
William-“did you swallow all of his cum”
William-“like it”
Michael-“loved it,wished he had lots more,lol”
William-“how big was his cock?”
Michael-“big, his told me 8 inches”
William-“where you able to takes it all it your mouth?”
Michael-“yes, til it went down my throat”
William-“would you like to suck mine,I am about 9.5 inches”
Michael-“I hoped you would ask me”
William-“ok,..I really like you to”
Michael-“can I see it?”
(William stands and pulls his down and off,he nearly fully erect)
Michael-“Oh my!, you are big”
(Michael walks to him,get down on his knees,takes William’s cock in one hand,and brings the head of it to his lips,licks the wetness leaking out,looking up at William)
Michael-“oh you taste good!”
(Michael now ,takes about 4 inches in his own mouth,starts using his tongue exploring within )
William-” oh you sure it been that ago,sense you had cock in your”
(Michael withdraws cock from mouth,looks up)
Michael-“for a long long time I have want to..believe me!”
(Michael resumes sucking…William begins moaning fairly loud)
William-” yes,I think you might of found your true purpose”

Michael takes William to climax,swallows.They set time in a few days to meet again,Michael asks William at this time if he will go inside of his bottom “breed him” at this time Michael likes to use terms “breeding,bred”..he doesn’t like “fuck term” in this context,it is vulgar etc.


1) SHEMALES ARE SEXIER THAN GIRLS ( I simply see myself as a alternative to a Female  or another choose,I can offer my bottom as a alternative to the vagina,and perform fellatio,so I can equally satisfy a man sexual,yet not reproductivitally)
Shemales were boys in past. Most of them are familiar with a man’s feelings, dreams, preferences, and other things. Shemales had the same feelings as every man has in his daily life. What is the main thing that makes a person sexy? I am not talking about the appearance right now. When I say “sexy” I mean a great branch of different qualities. It is not enough to look very seductive in order to be sexy. There are loads of women who are extremely beautiful but they are not sexy. 
Shemales are men to some extent. As you know, they use special hormonal pills and injections in order to remain to be shemales. These pills increase the level of estrogen and reduce testosterone in their blood. Some of them merely increase estrogens. Huge amounts of estrogens are enough to make any men look and feel like a real woman. Let us remember that testosterone is the hormone that is responsible for a person’s sexuality and libido. It is well-known that men have a higher libido than women. Everyone knows about the main reason of this tendency. Women have less testosterone in their veins and this is the main reasons why they have so weak libido. Shemales have huge amounts of testosterone in their blood that make them horny and sexy. Some ladyboys have a libido that is much higher than libidos of real men. 
A shemale is always horny and passionate. They are always ready to have a great sex. Sexual arousal of a shemale resembles sexual feelings of men. Shemales are more initiative and persistent in sex than women. It takes a long time for a man to seduce a real woman. Men do not encounter this problem while dealing with shemales. These fake girls initiate sexual activity before men. Huge amounts of testosterone make shemales horny, lusty, and passionate. 
Shemales are definitely sexier than real women. Men are mainly motivated by the sexual instinct, and consequently, they prefer everything sexy. 

A woman is surrounded by dozens of men in her life. It is not too difficult for a girl to find a boyfriend or a lover. Women study their men, and then, select the most perspective ones. It may look very cynical but women select the man who is more beneficial to them. A woman does not care about the fellow who has disappeared. She has enough men who are always ready to do everything she wishes. It is commonly accepted in our culture, that a man should strive to deserve a woman’s love, trust, and interest. I do not think so. I never do it myself. I do not think that women are better than men. Why should I think so? I may have made something to deserve a woman’s trust or her love, but it was a mere manipulation. Usually, I pity men who suffer because of women. These men resemble slaves. They are ready to do everything to please their GODDESSES. Often, these men have very low self-estimation. Women understand their psychology, and therefore, they do everything to manipulate them. It is commonly accepted in our society, that a man should give gifts to a woman. Is there any real reason which proves that a man should do it? Why doesn’t a girl buy a ring with a diamond and give it as a gift to her boyfriend? Our culture, education, social opinion, and ideology have brainwashed men around the world. Everything around inspires women to think that they are better creatures than men. Television, music, literature, and mass-media spoils women around the globe. Men also spoil their women. If men didn’t act like stupid servants and slaves, women around the world would not be so proud of themselves.
Shemales are discriminated everywhere. Do you think that Thailand and Philippines are the places where ladyboys are adored? If you think so, you do not know these regions very well. There are millions of people in the Southeast Asia who hate and discriminate shemales. Let us forget about LGBT situation in other regions of the world. Ladyboys do not feel safe in any country. The Philippinian ladyboys usually get amazed when they hear some compliments from me. They tend to think that men hate them. When a person is loved by everyone, he promptly gets spoiled. That is true and I am sure that you will agree with me. Women are worshiped by men and this is the main reason why they are so disfigured. Shemales encounter discrimination and hatred. Being in this difficult situation will never make them proud. They are very happy to meet some men who will truly accept them. A good attitude is a rare thing for shemales, and as a result, they value and appreciate men who love them. 
Communication with a shemale is very convenient and easy for men. Ladyboys are not full of pride and arrogance. Women usually think that they are better than men. A girl thinks that a man must strive to deserve her attention. Shemales do not have the same thoughts, and therefore, many men around the world love them.

3) SHEMALES ARE MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN WOMEN (I very much disagree with this statement,and I am not a female,I am a whole different gender,this is the problem,the Idea society can't wrap their minds around)..called "Third gender.fem-male,berdache,etc,etc.We have to be carefully about comparing,example I know I am not female,can't be female physically,yet I can partially play to Role of a female
Ladyboys spend tons of money to enhance their appearance. Plastic surgeries are very frequent amongst MTF transgenders. They usually enlarge their breasts, butts, and often remove some ribs. Shemales have gorgeous bodies. They know how to professionally use makeup. Ladyboys are aware of the fact that most of the men prefer real women. Thus, they are aware of a big competition. They need to be more attractive and beautiful than real women in order to get some handsome and hot men. Real girls do not pay much attention to their appearance. Especially, western women are very ignorant regarding when it comes to their look. Shemales pay attention to their style. These women perfectly know preferences of men, and for that reason, they wear the sexiest underwear. 
A woman becomes ugly after her pregnancy. I have seen a couple of women who have gone through a pregnancy. Let me tell you that their bodies are disgusting. Especially, their bellies and hips are tremendously ugly. I know a girl who is married now and she has a child. I made sex with her before her marriage and after her pregnancy. Thus, I saw her naked before and after her pregnancy. She was a gorgeous honey before her pregnancy. Her belly and hips were so delicious and sexy that I could hardly stop kissing and caressing them. Now, after her pregnancy, she looks like a frog and I am not interested in her anymore. Women loose their beauty. 
Shemales do not get pregnant, and therefore, there is nothing that could spoil their gorgeous appearance. 
Ladyboys are definitely more beautiful than women and this is a very important factor that attracts so many men.  

Women are usually very shy. This is a nature of every woman. They are shy to tell about their sexual desires and preferences. Usually, a man needs to make his girlfriend drunken, and only on this occasion, she becomes relaxed and open-minded. Women are not initiative. Low amounts of testosterone in their veins are not sufficient to make them enough horny and dominative. 
Shemales do not afraid of own desires and sexual preferences. Ladyboys are not pure women, and therefore, they have diverse psychic and thinking. Shemales are very initiative in sex. Women afraid to look lusty, and therefore, they never free themselves from ancient prejudices and ideas. A man needs to be very lucky in order to make sex with the girl whom he has just met. Shemales are more open-minded and available. I am not talking about ladyboy-prostitutes. I am telling you about shemales of different professions. It is clear that prostitute shemales are mainly motivated to earn some money. Shemales who do not preoccupy themselves in escort services are always ready to make sex with a handsome and seductive man. 

5) SHEMALES ARE GOOD AT ORAL SEX (I have been told by many men I am very good at "Fellatio")
What does a man need to make a perfect cunnilingus? First of all, professionalism in any field comes with experience. When a person wants to perfect his skills in something, he needs to practice much. Let me give you the answer to the question that opened this paragraph. A perfect cunnilingus is impossible if a man has no theoretical knowledge. Cunnilingus starts from getting familiar with a woman’s anatomy. A man should perfectly know all parts of a woman’s vagina, and of course, he needs to know more about the clitoris. Most of the men around the world know nothing about the clitoris. They do not know about its function and most of them will never find it on a woman’s body. Do you think that these men are capable of making a great cunnilingus? They will never do it. Clitoris is the most hidden organ on a woman’s body. It is easier to find a G –Spot than a clitoris. This sentence may be very arguable because some people think that it is more difficult to find a G – spot. I would also agree with it. The man who is not familiar with women anatomy, won’t ever be able to make a perfect cunnilingus.  
The same rule is applied when we talk about a blow job. A woman will never make a good oral job if she doesn’t know anything about a man’s penis. Penis is less complicated that women organs. However, women need much experience in order to enhance their skills in oral sex. Licking a clitoris is not a sophisticated process. When it comes to sucking a penis, women need to know this organ very well. 
Shemales have penises and they know how does it feel like to be sucked. They know all the sensitive areas on a penis, and consequently, their oral caresses are very pleasurable. They know what gives men most pleasure. It is unarguable that shemales are better in oral sex than women. Usually, we judge women’s oral skills by looking at how they do it in porn films. That is not correct. Porn stars are professionals. A woman who acts in porn films has already sucked at least 500 penises, and consequently, her oral job is much better than a blowjob performed by an average woman. 
Men love oral sex, and for that reason, a shemale is not a bad choice for someone who wants to receive a great oral pleasure. (men like just to be masturbated too!)-me

5) SHEMALES ACCEPT ANAL SEX  (personally this is my role,so my objective is to please by taking my man's penis in my bottom)
Since shemales have prostates, anal sex is very pleasurable for them. Most of the women dislike anal sex due to a multitude of reasons:
1) Women do not have prostates, and consequently, they do not have a deep pleasure during anal sex. For some women, anal sex may be pleasurable because anus has thousands of nerve endings. 
2) Vaginal sex is more pleasurable, and therefore, they have no reasons to go through the anal practices.
3) Anal sex is associated with something abnormal and shameful. This is one of the reasons why so many women avoid it.
4) Anal sex may be painful for some inexperienced women. 
Women have a multitude of other reasons that prevent them from accepting anal sex.
I am not a fan of penetrating someone’s butt, but there is a great number of men who adores anal sex. Some men enjoy anal more than a classic vaginal sex. The anus is tighter than a vagina, and therefore, men have more intense feelings during anal sex. So what should a man do if his woman refuses to have anal intercourse with him? He may search for other women who like anal sex. However, it is not the best decision because it is very probable that other women will also refuse to have anal penetration. Homosexualism is another option, but most of the straight men won’t ever accept it.
In this situation, making sex with shemales is the best choice for every anal lover. A ladyboy will never refuse to have anal sex.

Have you already recognized that the number of bottom gays is much bigger than a number of tops? It is a well-known fact. A bottom gay has much more pleasure during anal sex than his top. The prostate is an extremely sensitive organ. Some people say that prostate is a male clitoris. That saying may be definitely true. 
Bottom gays are not the only ones who enjoy being penetrated. Straight men also enjoy it. Those men who have already felt anal pleasure, are not able to give up bottoming. Some men practice strap-on sex with their wives, and others enjoy anal masturbation. 
It is a shame for some men to realize the fact that they enjoy being penetrated. Thus, they are not able to ask their wives for a strap-on sex. A man who enjoys anal penetration may be suspected in homosexual inclinations. Hence, strap-on sex is not always available in different couples.  
Ther are many other reasons why some men like being penetrated, and therefore, this trend is very popular nowadays. So what should a man do if he does not want to become a bottom gay, and at the same time, he cannot enjoy bottoming with his wife? In these occasions, men decide to make sex with shemales. Ladyboys are not men, but at the same instance, they have penises. Consequently, they can penetrate a man’s anus. 
This factor is one of the reasons that attract so many straight men to shemales.(
I personally have not,nor will "top a man",I have always been 100% bottom))

7) LATENT HOMOSEXUALISM,(I personally will not date homosexual men)
Homosexualism does not appear in a moment. Usually, it takes a long period of time for a man to understand and accept his homosexuality. There is a great variety of dissimilar factors that does not let some latent homosexuals realize their real sexual orientation. A latent homosexual may live in the strict community where homosexualism is forbidden. Different religious and cultural ideas are other factors that also make a great impact on a person’s behavior. 
Some latent homosexuals do not want to accept their homosexual desires and interests. These  men are regular watchers of gay porn, but most of them are not courageous enough to try making sex with a man. In this situation, latent gays prefer building relationships with shemales. Ladyboys are not pure men. They look like gorgeous women, but at the same occasion, they have penises. If a latent gay is a fan of penises, shemales will definitely satisfy his stealthy desires and interests.
Gays are men who are attracted to other men. A man who makes sex with shemales is not a gay because MTF transgenders are not men. Thus, it is very easy to acquit yourself.
Some men who love shemales are latent homosexuals. Sex with ladyboys let them satisfy their homosexual desires and dreams.


The twelfth chapter of Autobiography of Yogi has this instructive passage:
“My guru mixed freely with men and women disciples, treating all as his children. Perceiving their soul equality, he showed no distinction or partiality.
“‘In sleep, you do not know whether you are a man or a woman,’ he said. ‘Just as a man, impersonating a woman, does not become one, so the soul, impersonating both man and woman, has no sex. The soul is the pure, changeless image of God.’
“Sri Yukteswar never avoided or blamed women as objects of seduction. Men, he said, were also a temptation to women. I once inquired of my guru why a great ancient saint had called women ‘the door to hell.’
“‘A girl must have proved very troublesome to his peace of mind in his early life,’ my guru answered caustically. ‘Otherwise he would have denounced, not woman, but some imperfection in his own self-control.’
“If a visitor dared to relate a suggestive story in the hermitage, Master would maintain an unresponsive silence. ‘Do not allow yourself to be thrashed by the provoking whip of a beautiful face,’ he told the disciples. ‘How can sense slaves enjoy the world? Its subtle flavors escape them while they grovel in primal mud. All nice discriminations are lost to the man of elemental lusts.’”
It should be noted that Yogananda, though having both men and women living in his American ashram, demanded strict segregation of the sexes–a segregation that is rightly observed even now over half a century after his physical departure.

How might all this gender fluidity be interpreted? The union of masculine and feminine elements shows them to be complementary, inseparable, or one and the same, while emphasizing divine attributes such as power, creativity or fertility, and boundlessness. In its completeness, the union of the sexes also represents perfection and self-sufficiency, and, by extension, peace or even ecstasy. Spiritual schools tend to look favourably upon sexlessness, especially in the priestly caste, since the attraction between man and woman—or indeed between man and man or woman and woman—gives rise to worldly concerns and attachments, such as children and a home, which can detract from spiritual work and the liberation at which it aims. In heroes, gender fluidity may mark out the hero as more than a mere mortal. It may also, like the journey into the underworld, symbolize the search for knowledge, and in particular self-knowledge, that is the hallmark of the heroic quest.-gender fluidity in the gods

,Neel Burton M.D.