MichaelEmeryArt

                      Sex Education  nsfw

12/1/2018


I don't know how This topic is being addressed ,by whom, in each young persons lives as they grow-up Today,so I can comment on that.

I growing up.never had any guide, other then just Natures instinct, never did a adult ever sit me down, and try to explain,the many faceted aspects of what people really do sexually,or even if I had a question, needed advice where to go, I and most likely my generation was simply " left to learn as you go" or "fly by the sit of your pants " there was no internet, really we where just left in the dark, in essense .if we where lucky, maybe someone whom loved us, Prayed we would make the right choose.

Maybe if someone would have said some thing like " Sex is a primitive Instinct,and you will have that urge"

  then it might of eased the "all alone" sense of it.


What is Amazing to Me,is how something so important in most Human beings Lives, is not Taught,clearly defined!

        for example , pay attention to how people drive, it tells much about them, sex is similar,

           If some one acts like a poorly educated,un-empathetic self seeking ,Animalistic sexually, most likely,they are similar in their everyday lives, 

        ♥   If they are educated, kind,caring,clean,empathetic sexually most likely they are in their everyday lives.

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Here is a article I came across this morning ;   Dr Marty Klein / Changing the Way People, Politics & the Media Look at Sex

              Shaving, Waxing, or Bushy—Letting Women be Women by 



I recently spoke in Vancouver, Canada, at one of the city’s most progressive hospitals. Everyone was very nice to me, and my talk (“What health care professionals need to know about sex”) was very well received.

Afterwards, several medical staff came up to ask questions or thank me. One gynecologist said she appreciated my practical suggestions for how professionals can ask about and support patients in whatever their sexual expression involves.

But,” she said, “I’m uncomfortable with so many women shaving or waxing their pubic mounds. Maybe I’m prejudiced,” she continued, “But it just looks to me like women responding to cultural pressure—mostly men and porn—to look like little girls.”

I thanked her for sharing her concern, especially since she was slightly concerned about its validity. I admired her honesty, but her assumption made me sad and frustrated.


Of all the explanations for why women do something she doesn’t understand, why would she choose this one—the one that trivializes women’s decision-making, and pathologizes their sexuality? And pathologizes male sexuality in the bargain?

“Have you ever asked your patients why they shave or wax?” I asked. “No,” said the doc. “I wonder why,” I gently said. “Perhaps I’m not as comfortable with sexual topics as I assumed,” she said thoughtfully.

“So why,” she asked, “do you think women shave or wax?”

“I suppose there are a few women who do it to look like little girls,” I said. “Although I’ve never heard one single woman ever say that.”

“What about men?” she asked. “Don’t you think they’re pressuring women to wax or shave so they look like young girls?” Would we put up with Europeans thinking the same nonsense about American women shaving their legs or underarms—that they do it under pressure to look like young girls? Not for a second.

Only someone who thinks women have nothing between their legs would think a shaved adult woman looks like a little girl.

“Actually, no,” I said simply, “Of course, a lot of men prefer a grown woman to look like a grown woman without hair.”

To her credit, the curious doc was still curious. So why do women shave or wax their pubic mound? And why did this style develop when it did?

I suggested several historical facts:

* More cunnilingus: Every survey indicates that there’s more oral sex going on in America today than ever before. Many women find it more pleasurable when there’s less hair in the area. Many men do, too. It’s certainly easier for a woman to indicate how she wants to be touched or licked when the area is visible.

* Changes in fashion: For better or worse, young women wear their jeans lower on their hips than they used to. And their panties (and bathing suits) are skimpier than ever, revealing a lot of pubic area and thigh (and butt, of course) that used to be covered. American women have never liked the look of pubic hair sticking out of their underwear or bathing suit, no matter how much skin is covered.

* More athletics: More women than ever are exercising, whether at the gym or elsewhere. Their concerns about pubic (and underarm) hair trapping sweat also contributes to hair removal.

* Yes, porn: While there are plenty of porn actresses who sport bushes—trimmed or voluptuous—many actresses appear hairless. Some men like the trimmed or hairless look and encourage (as opposed to “pressure”) their partners to try it; many women view it in porn (or locker rooms) and decide to do so themselves.

* * *

According to the FBI and other law enforcement agencies, the rate of adult-child sexual exploitation has decreased at the same time that pubic waxing and shaving have become common. That makes it even harder to argue that the adult appetite for little girls (real or pretend) is growing.

It does seem clear that more men than ever want to see female genitalia unconcealed, whether live or in porn. This would seem like unambiguously good news. But the religious right and neo-feminist Sexual Disaster Industry—as it does with things like the declining rate of sexual violence both on and off campus—hides good news about sex and promotes its brand of dangerism.

Accordingly, it can even spin an increase in cunnilingus as bad for women. by  Dr. Marty Klein

               ♥  I think the most important thing about this article is how it shows how a very educated person can be so held by their own constructed " Pre-Concieved Notion". to be held in Plato's cave, in essense going through life held by a "Notion"


                 Personally I have shaved smooth since I started Modeling for Life drawing classes,(1997) I simply did ,from the stand-point of, "The Hair" concealed the anatomical features of my body, it is cleaner, yet that is it, just as a beard on a man's face conceals the features his face.

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When I was seeing a lot of me back in early 2000's , sure I wanted to look Feminine for them,to define my role, the shaving though is simply about looking "well groomed",in the above gif, I had a "landing strip" shave, yet at this time I was very sexually active in my Fem-role


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excerpt from above link ; 

         "Low-empathizing, high-systemizing: That, in a nutshell, is Baron-Cohen's theory of what characterizes autism. Those traits span the autism spectrum, from people who are mute and unable to function to people who find a niche in society. Moreover, Baron-Cohen's theory embeds this autism spectrum firmly in a much larger two-dimensional continuum—one that includes all of us. The essential difference between men and women, according to Baron-Cohen, is that women are better at empathizing and men at systemizing—on average, he stresses. There are plenty of male brains in female bodies, and vice versa. There are even female autistics, but there are many more male ones: In Baron-Cohen's theory, autism is a case of the "extreme male brain."

         Thanks in part to Baron-Cohen, that understanding of autism is now widely shared—which is one reason the number of children diagnosed as autistic has risen so dramatically in the past decade. Autism was once almost invariably associated with a below-normal IQ, and its prevalence was said to be around 4 in 10,000. Nowadays, it is ten times that. Many children are diagnosed with an autism-spectrum disorder, many of them at the high-functioning Asperger's end. With the explosion in diagnoses there has been an explosion in research. Geneticists are looking for genes linked to autism, which surely exist; the disease has been known to run in families. Neuroscientists are looking for the anatomical or physiological irregularities in the brain that must result from the anomalous genes."

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I think something that can't be stressed enough is ; " I see how so many people dogmatize all ways of thinking doing ,Science,religion,technology as fact, non-changing,and absolute,

 for example say you read Carl Jung's writingsSigmund Freud's , anybodies, "remember these are not facts", I study,read many peoples stuff,learn from it,yet also realize they are always "ideas" to build upon,use to construct a better understanding, I like to listen to Leo's stuff at Actualized.org for instance,yet I don't ever take it as "Absolute"

  We all have are own History, thus no story is the same, and also ,if one is "Living",one is always changing,learning and evolving.

    Robert Henri said something to the effect ; 

" Let me teach you what I know,yet take it,don't do what I did, use it to construct a " New " way, a New Art and Create a completely new " bridge " of sorts.


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I think to as a Society " Nudity " has been socially constructed to be sexually,and this is a very big " Dogma " a pre-conceived notion etc.Actually this is very low conscience thinking, and must be realized. One reason is for example Life drawing is still stigmatized,something the general public sees as taboo like etc. Yet nudity in it's self is not sexual at all, it is the mind of the observer,or the action of the person that is nude takes,

For example in the above gif, I am clearly defining I am seeking to Have sex, sure I am nude, yet only by my actions is any sexual aspect of my agenda present.


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So called " Porn" can be very useful from the stand point of ; helping with One's own sexually identity


            I personally don't watch porn very often, yet Peter Hegre's site I will view on occasion, and to date, only site I have found that is done well.    the following are few examples from his site ; 

For Example; For myself, if viewing these images I clearly 100 percent only imagine "Being" the females,I have no desire at all to be in the males role, I would say if someone asked me " which person do you wish to be ?"...my reply would be  " Her"

    without any doubt !

So if you're male, and wish to be in Her position, you could be sexually oriented to be Fem-male. I think of myself as she-male,ladyboy, mainly just desire to have breasts, (at this time in my life if ,I was told "you just won a free breast implant surgery,I do it)
put this way I'd love to look like this,without bra!

I think in part by having breasts for myself would be defining in the way, to show I am clearly 100 percent female sexually oriented,with no desire to be in traditional male role. I think society thinks one needs to have a complete sex change, in order to be in female role, or need to wear a wig,get all dolled up cross-dressing,,that might be the way for many, yet  for myself,even if I where actually female, I wouldn't wear, make-up, lip stick, etc. that to is a huge social construct.

                                                   I'd simply wear dresses when want,jeans when needed, adapt to situation!                                           

I think now at age 56, it is easy to be celibate, yet 15 years ago and longer it was not, but by being selective,having sex with empathetic,caring,clean people, one can avoid many problems like "STD's", un-wanted children, grief in general. I personally would recommend learning about anal intercourse,and all alternatives to traditional sex.One's life is so hindered,if un-prepared for a new child.

excerpts from  ;  

Sexual Development from 5 – 6 Years Old

This is a period of richly imaginative activity, during which some of the most bizarre misconceptions can be formed concerning physical facts. It is for this reason that simple and accurate information about the body and its functions should be presented.

Children continue to work hard on developing their sexual identities and roles as girls or boys. They still imitate the same-sex parent and want to include all they know about gender roles in their play. These roles are often stereotyped even when the parents try their hardest not to stereotype females and males – an indication of just how strong other influences (such as other family members, friends, or television) can be.

Children this age want to know that their family is okay.

They should understand that there are many different types of family situations, and that no single type is better than the rest.

Masturbation (touching one’s own genitals for pleasure) is quite common at this age. Children this age are not masturbating to orgasm.

Again, masturbation is a healthy thing for children to do – it feels good and it's a comfort for some children. If children are allowed to masturbate in the absence of negative messages, it increases the likelihood that they will become sexually healthier and happier adults. After all, if you know what gives you pleasure, you can tell your partner what gives you pleasure.

By this age, children should know that masturbation should only be done in private.

If you still believe that masturbation is harmful, then let your child know that masturbation is not acceptable in your family. Try to do so without making your child feel guilty about their behavior. It is, after all, a normal behavior. And understand that your child will probably masturbate anyway.

Sexual Development from 6 – 9 Years Old

During this period, children become much more intellectually developed and, for the first time, are able to grasp all of the basic facts about sex, conception, pregnancy, and the birth process.

They still do not understand the emotional and erotic feelings that are part of sexuality. They may understand sex and conception very well, but may assume that their parents have only had sex once or twice, for the purpose of producing children.

Children in this age group first begin to be preoccupied with being “normal” and consequently are interested in all non-normal things, such as twins, Siamese twins, or people with disabilities.

They continue to develop their conception of what it means to be a girl or a boy, and they start to develop a more complex sense of the differences in gender roles.

Children should be exposed to non-stereotyped gender roles.

Children begin to conform to peer group style of dress and speech. At this age, boys experience more pressure than girls to adhere to gender-role expectations in areas such as choice of toys, hobbies, clothing, and hair styles.

“Sex play” continues.

Masturbation is quite common at this age. As with younger children, children this age are not masturbating to orgasm – they are just touching their genitals for pleasure or comfort.

Children this age may whisper, say out loud, or write sexual words. There is also an interest in sexual jokes. Children know that adults find this kind of behavior unacceptable, so they won’t do it in your presence. If you ever happen upon a group of giggling 6-9 year olds, and the giggling suddenly stops, it's a pretty safe bet that the giggling had something to do with sex.

At eight years of age, some girls are already starting to go through puberty.



Sexual Development from 9 – 14 years old

The experts don’t all agree but we can safely say that, on average, puberty begins for girls between the ages of 8 and 13 and for boys between the ages of 10 and 15. It usually takes about 3-4 years to get through puberty.

Puberty has its unpleasant moments, but it would be a lot less unpleasant if everyone went through it at the same time and rate. One of the most difficult aspects for pre-teens and teens to handle is the wide variation in the rate of physical development at a given age. And so the question “Am I normal?” becomes almost an obsession now. Or to word it differently, the question “What’s wrong with me?” becomes almost an obsession now. And no wonder. If you’re the first girl in your class to develop breasts, that’s a bad thing. If you’re the last girl in your class to develop breasts, that’s a bad thing. If you’re a boy who gets an erection in front of the class, that’s a bad thing. If you’re a boy whose voice cracks when you’re trying to impress a girl, that’s a bad thing. Getting your period when you’re not prepared – bad. If you’re a boy, and all the girls are taller than you – bad. Uncontrollable mood swings for both girls and boys – bad. The variations are almost endless. Throw in pimples and body odor and you can begin to understand why puberty can be such a tough time for pre-teens and teens.

Now you may know that we all get through puberty, but for these pre-teens and teens, anxiety over physical development may be accompanied by the fear that all will not turn out well. Consider the boy who develops little breasts. This happens to more than half of all boys during puberty – it’s normal and the breasts go away in a year to 18 months. But if nobody told you this, you might think you got the wrong hormones and you were turning into a girl.

Pre-teens and teens need to know that it is “normal” for everyone to be different, that everyone eventually gets through puberty, and that the anxiety and confusion caused by puberty are not permanent conditions. They need to know that they are not alone in their self-doubts and fears.

Boys worry about their penis size. Girls worry about their breast size.

Again, we must reassure our children that no two people are the same, and that it is normal to be different.

Many pre-teens and teens become dissatisfied with their weight or body shape.

Poor body image can inhibit healthy sexual relationships. Pre-teens and teens need to know that bodies come in all shapes and sizes; that each of us has a basic shape that can't be changed, no matter how much or how little we eat or exercise; and that we don't have to accept society's current notion of the “perfect” body.  

Lots of changes in friendships take place during these years, and rejection by old friends can be very painful. Children tend to choose friends who are going through puberty at the same time and rate as themselves. This often ends up being harder on the boys than the girls because boys generally begin puberty later than girls. Imagine the boy and girl who have been friends since they were three years old. The girl hits puberty, she takes off like a rocket, and she no longer wants anything to do with an old friend who’s still small and immature.  

We can’t make that girl still be friends with the boy, but we can ask her to be nice about ending the friendship.  

Those girls who mature more quickly may become interested in dating. In order to date someone at their own maturity level, they will probably have to date older boys.

Consequently, they will need to know the purposes and considerations of dating, and about the potential for exploitive relationships.

By the end of this stage, boys will also begin to show an interest in dating, but they often have a very strange way of showing that they like a girl. Do you know how they show it? That's right, by teasing or hitting her.

In striving for an individual identity and independence, boys and girls regard the opinions of their friends with increasing importance. Children this age have begun another separation process from their parents.

We need to let pre-teens and teens “fit in” with their peers. But we must encourage them to think for themselves and not get carried away by the crowd.

Masturbation is quite common at this age, and some young people are very much concerned about the feelings of guilt that frequently accompany this behavior.

Masturbation is a healthy thing to do – it feels good and, if done in the absence of negative messages, it increases the likelihood that young people will become sexually healthier and happier adults. After all, if you know what gives you pleasure, you can tell your partner what gives you pleasure.

Pre-teens and teens need to know that deciding whether or not to masturbate is a personal choice that may depend upon the values of their family. Even when families don’t object to masturbation, young people should understand that it's okay if you masturbate and okay if you don't.

Pre-teens and teens are fascinated with the way their bodies change. It is common for friends of the same gender to look at and touch each other's genitals. This is one of the ways they learn that they are normal. This kind of exploration has nothing to do with sexual orientation.

Children this age may ask a lot of questions about sexual orientation. At this point in their lives, they have probably heard a lot of misinformation about the topic.

Pre-teens and teens should understand that sexual orientation is not a choice, and that the only difference between heterosexuals, bisexuals, and homosexuals is the gender of the persons to whom they are attracted.- © 2019 Sexuality Resource Center for Parents


Sexual Development from 14 – 18 years old

Please Remember...

The facts on sexual development appear in regular type.

The messages we think children should be receiving appear in
bold type.

   

Teens are essentially self-conscious and self-concerned. They are struggling to cope with a changing body image, to develop controls over emotional drives, and to find their place in the world.

Self-esteem is shaky, and regardless of the facts of their social situation, teens are rarely secure in their acceptance by peers and adults. Teens want to know that they are valued, and so they try to prove it. Unfortunately, the way they try to prove it is by getting a boyfriend or girlfriend. It’s hard to imagine a worse way of trying to prove yourself because rejection is always a distinct possibility.

Though some teens may withdraw socially to protect themselves from rejection, most will feel the need to be accepted, attached, and sought after.

Because teens have profound fears about being “different,” they are easy targets for peer pressure and bad advice.

Again, we need to let teens “fit in” with their peers. But they must also understand that they are responsible for the choices they make.

Relationships with parents may be especially intense and full of conflict. On one side of the conflict is a renewed demand for attention; on the other side is the continuing effort to withdraw from dependency. And it’s not like these two sides take turns from one week to the next. It may be more like from one moment to the next.

Teens need to know that, though we may find certain behaviors unacceptable, we still accept them for who they are.

Girls are interested in the roles of womanhood; boys try out the ways of men whom they respect.

Teens should understand the differences between biological sex roles and socially assigned gender roles. They need to know that there do not have to be prescribed gender roles for dating partners. Teens should understand that gender role stereotypes are harmful to both women and men.

Fourteen, fifteen, and sixteen year olds are also beginning to test out heterosexual closeness on a more mature level. This may include having sex. Early sexual experiences for teenage girls may be especially unenjoyable, and teens are often aware that they are not emotionally ready for the behaviors they are trying out. The question then arises as to why they would still choose to engage in these behaviors. They do so for various reasons: they think all of their peers are doing it; pressure from a boyfriend or girlfriend; to declare their freedom from childhood dependence and restrictions; curiosity; misinformation; and simply to take risks and test their limits.

Teens need to match their behaviors with their emotional readiness.

Seventeen and eighteen year olds are more capable of handling the emotional side of new sexual behaviors. Since these young people are now exposed to a wide range of behaviors, they are all the more involved in working out standards for themselves. In so doing, they may sharply challenge the very behaviors they wish to engage in.

Teenage girls often do not plan for their first sexual experience, because to do so would be to acknowledge the fact – even to themselves – that they are interested in sex.

Teenage boys often feel the pressure to have sex with a girl so that other boys won't think they are gay.

Teens must realize that there are consequences for any sexual activity that they engage in. They must know how to have relationships without getting hurt and without hurting others.

Sexual feelings can be cause for great concern. Sexual wishes or fantasies can be seen as being equivalent to the act.

Teens need to know we can’t control our feelings but we can control our behaviors. Teens need to recognize that sexual wishes or fantasies are normal, and that we do not have to act on these wishes or fantasies.

Finally, teens should understand the positive role that sexuality and sexual pleasure should play in one's life.