MichaelEmeryArt

Celibacy-Abstinence-Continence

5/30/2018

I personally have selected to be Celibate for last 13 years as a Fem-male,17 years with a female traditionally,other then once about 11 years ago,she was a past girl-friend,whom knew I was in the role as a fem-male and had been since 1997,but we tried regular intercourse,I was unable to perform,and told her "I just can't be with women anymore,like a real man.I had been only -in role as Fem-male from 1997 to 2005 thus 7 years (and very promiscuous,yet very selective,I mean hundreds of str8 men),crazy!

..I wasn't even having sex for pleasure,it was simply to be in the "Role of Fem-male" thus relieving my "gender dysphoria".the more guys I could get to "bone me",,the more relief I felt I was getting.I could care less if I climaxed,and most often didn't wish to,cause chances are,as so as the guy that was "boning me" had climaxed,,I was headed to see another guy,do it again!.Like a revolving door.

So far the "SelfDefinition.Org"-website is the most Human/realistic,site I have found,most sadly are bias due to religion,and the self constructed morals,etc of that belief system,thus not universally Humanistic.

For myself to study clearly,I have to study as though there are no socially constructed bia's.


-------------------------------------------------------------8/10/2018------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Difficulty of being Celibate,when I really do want to be Feminine for a man,feel his cock in me

♥ I honestly can't say a day goes by that that I don't wish I had a boyfriend ,so sexually I could be in my "feminine role for him"

   ,please him etc.

3/1/2019

I was trying to be with females, yet once I told them I was a Fem-male, they where no longer interested, which I very much understood, yet I felt I had to be honest about my sexual orientation, and very much still do, However due to this it was very easy to be celibate from females, yet for me not selecting to see males, has been very difficult. and today even though I don't actively try to meet a man, if the the right guy happened along, and wanted to take me as his Fem-male friend it would be nice.


I really don't think if I where 40 again I could succeed at being celibate, as I am sure I don't have the sexual drive as then, or is it that I experimented so much (so many male partners) it fulfilled a need?. 

I feel now just to feel feminine is my desire, and more for myself, feeling good for myself etc. I am thankful I have been able to free my mind fairly quickly of sexual desires (not obsess), even the wanting a Vulvoplasty, as much as I would love to have Gender confirmation surgery, I don't obsess on it, thankfully.

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    I have felt very much, remaining celibate is important in order to be ready when "right man comes along", some one like a soul-mate type, that mutually we understand each others identity/roles well. A big factor,though may sound silly to some, I had adopt "George" then 3 months old puppy, thus now my focus has been "being his mom" 13 years later :)

   Though I do wish,and desire to get "Boned",yet by the right guy.

 I have felt as well until I could get gender confirmation surgery (vulvoplasty first and foremost), I would refrain from seeking a mate, as I wish to present myself as truly committed as a Fem-male/ in a Eunuch type body form(no penis), as being psychologically feminine roled.

I have avoided sex as well because of being fearful of getting addicted to getting "Boned" as I was in the early 2000's.


  Yet , not a day goes by that I don't wish having a " Real Man's " cock up inside me ejaculating.


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