MichaelEmeryArt

               dysfunctional Bonding

                   thus a great need to replace that bond with a better "functional bond"

"Professor Peter Cohen in the Netherlands said, maybe we shouldn’t even call it addiction. Maybe we should call it bonding. Human beings have a natural and innate need to bond, and when we’re happy and healthy, we’ll bond and connect with each other, but if you can’t do that, because you’re traumatized or isolated or beaten down by life, you will bond with something that will give you some sense of relief."  -  Addiction as dysfunctional Bonding – TED talk by Jonathan Hari

                                                        Examples might be for myself

From 1998-2005 , I was very much addicted to " having sex with men, so they would ejaculate in my bottom "


            I was able to over come that by getting my dog " George ", thus forming a bond with him as care-giver, best friend, a truly

               love bond that occurs between human and another animal.- thus I was able to be celibate, still am, yet desire to be in my 

               female role with men is still just as strong, even much stronger then my alcohol addiction , I have been able to maintain my

              celibacy , I think by studying the ways of the berdache, traits of being a Female roled male (100% female sexual role).

               Because my actually , long time experience of being a Artist model, posing nude (which I was likely suited for,drawn to that

               role due my desire to feel feminine) Which though not by intent, lead to men noticing me, seeing me in a more feminine, 

               non-masculine way, thus making it easier to take me in my female role sexually.


               Once having sex in my female role, became very routine (hopefully once a day if able yet dysfuntional), it became ;

                                                                                 " My culture " or custom  in a way.

                                                                               Maintaining my Celibacy 

          1. I think making posing videos as a Female roled male helps a lot, and can be constructive

                 in ways, by the simple aspect of pose references for artists, maybe other female roled                      males like myself are out there ,whom can benefit from my experience.

            2. Cleaning my bottom with my dildo nightly (as did when sexually active ) is a big help, and                 custom now.

            3. Doing research ,concerning the " Female-roled male / berdache type. seeing it as a ;

                   "Divergent aspect / element of human evolution ", I now believe which played a                                   important role in the survival of human species as a whole, due to fact that there is no                       known time in known history when the " Female roled male " didn't exist

             4  Learning to accept myself as berdache type, realizing society will be a long time                                understanding , or even care to, thus letting that worry go

             5  Constant "Self-Awareness" work, big part of my culture now.

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