Due to fact I feel so much Not masculine,nore any desire to be , Ideally the ultimate feeling for me would to live without a penis.
I guess I can honestly say I can just put as " It would be wonderful to be like I am portrayed in the below photos.
Yet in Reality , I am content for the most part " simply being me, in the body I am in "
As a variety of " Berdache"
I think the transgender community is damaged, when one whom does transition claims to be the other sex, it isn't that simple.
I like the above picture above as the photo represents to myself the feeling of being Female and male, myself always wanting the breasts and vagina of a female.
Imagining how I'd look if had " vagina " similar to a female
Although a body as this much more "Fits me " psychologically, after looking at the " Pro's and Con's " of surgery, the " Con's far out weight the " Pro's " ,thus for myself, I have to the best with Body I have, just be as Feminine as I can by dressing, posing , thinking , being in female role sexually as best I can.
I have mainly only wanted to appear Female like in any high degree, when being nude with a man, and having him see I don't have;
a penis, and thus appear female like in this regard, symbolic for him and I , showing him I am 100% female like sexually.
Thus showing him I am fully committed to the " Female/receptive role ", and I am able to perform sexually very much as a female.
Though the becoming Eunuch like is not realistic for me, I have always felt very good when seeing myself as such.
And what a contrasting and dramatic change in my identity that simply not having a penis creates for my identity.
And for me it is the ultimate way I could define my sexual identity / role for a man.
What can I say, some how my brain got Highly Feminized female sexually oriented
I don't know why, just always felt like I should be female, and have wanted to be.