I would love to have Posed for Life Drawing classes as a                 "Transfeminine person "

For myself now, all my poses are centered around or my goal to achive is symbolic ; "Hermaphroditus" poses

,as the pursuit of feeling more "effeminate" or " wanting to be like the girls"

Here again being a Artist Model helped me, as the term;  " Male nude Model for Artists " constantly didn't sound right, I felt I should be pronounced for classes as ; " Transgender nude Model for Artists ", in that I very much was female roled sexually, wish to appear much more feminine , and if the if getting genital reconstruction surgery wasn't a big deal ,long ago would of had my penis removed, So posing for Artists, as A  "Transgender mate to female person with no penis " was and still is a huge desire in a much bigger picture way; I want to reveal , to society, the artists at least that being Transgender is very real, and has been part of being Human, since civilization began most likely.

  I never desired to appear Masculine, only Feminine, and by Posing I soon realized this.

"I always felt for myself "Modeling for Artist's, Students especially was a form of Altruism,"Offering myself to be studied,for a better understanding and growth"-me

It was Posing for Artists, that not only made me realize how Feminine psychological I am, yet gave me the courage to finally be in the

role with a Man, in a Transgender capacity, 100% female roled.

Realize that I didn't wish to be man or women, just somewhere in between , yet very much more Feminine, sexually 100%,  at 

least sexually symbolically, fully femininized / emasculated, Sexually there is nothing about me Masculine! ;

                                                                        with no desire for male sexual role

                                                 Thus appearing Feminine is very Symbolic


5/26/2019 posing

I have often wondered if I appeared as this in life drawing class, how the students would take it?.I would like to think that, that after the "Initial shock", they would adapt quite quickly,accept what they see,and do some great drawing,,those students I had come to know,,I truly believe had a great ability to adapt quickly,make no judgements that would interfere with their ability to "See".

6/3/2018- Was able to get out to woods to pose a bit

Weekend was so nice was able to get out in Nature to pose 6/3/2018
Weekend was so nice was able to get out in Nature to pose 6/3/2018
fem june 2018

If I would pose today,and say I had a Class which I was comfortable with,and was able to reveal to the class that I identify myself as a Fem-male,a form of transgender,and they where Ok,accepting,it would be nice to try this above pose

 -a pose I would do often growing up and through out my life time-
june 24/2018 posing outside

I think most students realized I was very Fem,and knew I like men,yet I never revealed that I was "Transgender" oriented non-op male to female(truly wished to be like girls,felt female like in my mind,so for myself,I was transgender,just psychological),and I felt if I mentioned,it might cause a problem.

Fem-male pose 7-15-2018

In this photos I am wearing a Tube top,I was thinking,even now if I where to go swimming in a public setting,I would be more comfortable wearing a female bathng suit. I'd love to wear these in public.(the bottoms in style of lower one)Sexy Bikinis Underwire Swimwear Bra and Drawstring Side Pantskirt

Fem-male pose 7-15-2018
Fem-male pose 7-15-2018

Wood Nettles very dense on forest floor,why have to wear Leggings.else these plants cause terrible itching 

See the source image

wearing legging cause of "Wood Nettle"
posing in front of a great old red cedar,long died

American Indian groups, cedar is considered a sacred wood. In the Cahokia area it is the only native evergreen tree, and thus symbolic of life; it has a reddish heartwood, symbolic of blood and life; and it resists insects and decay. These factors led to its sacredness.

Management The following information on the Traditional Resource Management (TRM) red cedar was provided by Lynn Youngbuck, who is Cherokee, Chiracahua, and Fox.  TRM includes the following: • Take only what you need, leaving the best to reproduce. • Speak to the plant, leave an offering of tobacco or sage before harvesting.  The plant will grow back two stems for every one cut. • Humans are another strand in life.  Plants sustain us and should be treated as another living being. • Plants were taken care of by extended family groups of women.  They were taken care of and watched each year for generations. • Materials harvested were shared and traded with the whole tribe. • Cedar bark was harvested in early June or early July as the bark is more easily removed at that season (Densmore 1974).  The gathering of cedar bark was attended with a simple ceremony, followed by a feast.  The next day the tree was cut.  The bark was removed, and the tree was permitted to remain as it fell, and when thoroughly, dry was used for fuel. 

This old red cedar maybe over 1000 years old?

        The wood is marketed as "eastern redcedar" or "aromatic cedar".

         Eastern juniper is a pioneer species, which means that it is one of the first trees to repopulate cleared, eroded, or otherwise damaged land. It is unusually long lived among pioneer species, with the potential to live over 900 years.

I truly wanted to "come out" as a Fem-male / third-gender type at this time,was just to much though.I was very involved by this time in my role as "Fem-male",routinely seeing several straight black men whom accepted me as "Fem".

aug 12,2018 nude pose fem
fem-walk pose - aug. 17,2018

8/19/2018 Androgyny,feminine role,posing


                               -------We all have our Own personal Culture, this is simply part of mine--------                                                                               I like how Ruth Benedict portrays us each as a culture in it's self with the following statement;

                    “A culture, like an individual, is a more or less consistent pattern of thought and action. [...] Each people further and further consolidates its experience, and in proportion to the urgency of these drives the heterogenous items of behaviour take more and more congruous shape. [...]

Such patterning of culture cannot be ignored as if it were an unimportant detail. The whole, as modern science is insisting in many fields, is not merely the sum of all its parts, but the result of a unique arrangement and interrelation of the parts that has brought about a new entity. Gunpowder is not merely the sum of sulphur and charcoal and saltpeter, and no amount of knowledge even of all three of tis elements in all the forms they take in the natural world will demonstrate the nature of gunpowder.”
Ruth Benedict, Patterns of Culture 

Congruous definition, exhibiting harmony of parts.

heterogeneous [het″er-o-je´ne-us] 1. consisting of or composed of dissimilar elements or ingredients; not having a uniform quality throughout. 2. in genetics, said of a trait that can be produced by different genes or combinations of genes. het·er·o·ge·ne·ous (het'ĕr-ō-jē'nē-ŭs), Comprising elements with various and dissimilar properties …

“Such men will never know the added love of their culture which comes from a knowledge of other ways of life.”                                                                                                                                           - Ruth Benedict

       One might tell I have a had a great love of Ruth Benedict,for a long time, some one it would of been great to          hang out with. Matter of fact after reading her book "Patterns of Culture" back in 1995, it was through her                thoughts, that inspired me to greatly inquiry into the meaning of "Pre-Concieved Notions", then name the boat        I was building that.

Pre-Concieved Notions under construction

            The following most accurately reflect how "Lady-Like" I feel,and imagine being

For myself being trans-gender means something between male and female, for example I don't wish to appear as though I am Female, or simply male, I like the idea of simply not having a penis,thus if I dress as a male,who is to know, and who does it matter to?, For me , I just don't like having a penis, as though it is annoying,doesn't fit me kinda feeling,even offensive to a degree.

Thus I would simply rather be as the photos below represent, I can very easily where a padded bra,a dress,flower in my hair.
How I love to be/ ladyLike

I away most American born males get Circumcised (unelected by the child), is that much different, is it not done simply due to "Social Construct" ?, and belief systems, Idealology. 

  Thus if One's belief,Idealology needs are to be met, is there a real difference?

  Yet I seem different then the Mainstream idea of transgender, as my idea of, is more male to Fem-male,half of each.

Is getting false breasts natural for a Lady or male, is getting a Tattoo natural for anybody,is wearing make-up, is getting ears pierced, or any Elected surgery,body modifying ?

                                   "Transsexualism is not a "modern discovery"

. Instead it is a not-uncommon, naturally-occurring variation in human gendering that has been observed and documented since antiquity. In many cultures, including native tribes in North America, transsexual individuals have long had the choice to cross-dress and live their lives as women, including taking husbands. The surgical alteration of genitalia to relieve intense cross-gender feelings was also not "invented in the twentieth century". In some cultures, even ancient ones, many transsexuals have voluntarily undergone surgeries to modify their bodies in such a way as to "change their sex". The surgical methods and the effects of castration were everywhere for the ancients' to see. It's use in the domestication of animals quickly taught ancient people that removal of a human male's testicles at a young enough age would prevent his masculinization too. Such a person would forever be childlike - or "girly". These surgeries were also often forcibly done upon captive adult male slaves in order to "domesticate them" as "eunuchs". Performing such surgeries on normal post-pubertal males does not change their gender feelings or gender identity, although is lessens their sexual drives somewhat and sharply reduces their ability to develop male musculature.
The accumulating knowledge about the effects of castration was further extended to help MtF transsexuals: Untold millions of transsexuals over thousands of years have voluntarily sought and undergone surgeries vastly riskier and more dramatic in effect than mere castration. In these surgeries transsexuals are completely emasculated by total removal of the testes, penis and scrotum. In addition, the external pubic area is often roughly shaped to look like a girl's vulva. No one knows precisely how it started, but such transsexual surgeries were well known by the time of ancient Greece and especially in sexually-permissive ancient Rome, and were often traditionalized in various "religious rituals" that provided the resulting "women" with a place in society.

By undergoing these surgeries, young MtF transsexuals (if they survived) not only avoided becoming men, but also gained genitalia that looked somewhat like those of a woman. Although lacking vaginas and lacking the powerfully feminizing effects of female sex hormones, young transsexuals in the past could nevertheless live life better as women after undergoing such surgery.

 Even today, very large numbers of desperate young transsexuals in India and Bangladesh run away from home to join the "Hijra" caste. To become Hijra, these teens voluntarily undergo fully emasculating surgeries under primitive conditions, just as they would have in ancient times, with only opium as an anesthetic. Most undergo the surgery in their teens shortly after the onset of puberty, with results as seen in photo below. By being castrated just early enough, many avoid the development of male secondary sex characteristics (except for the breaking and lowering of the voice), and their bodies can remain permanently soft, childlike and girly. 

Contrary to popular myth, total external emasculation after puberty does not necessarily "de-sex" the person. Complete castration after puberty leaves the young Hijra with her newfound feelings of sexual arousal and her newfound orgasmic capabilities. While the psychological impact of such surgery would usually cripple the libido of a normal male, the effect on a young transsexual girl is usually just the opposite: The surgery can be liberating and can enable a fuller expression of her sensuality and her female libidinous feelings. Just as in the case of modern post-operative transsexual women, many Hijra can have strong feelings of sexual arousal in the inner remnants of their genitalia (even though they lack the external nerve tissue left by modern SRS, they retain the internal portions of the erectile corpora cavernosa and of course the prostate, with its spasmodic orgasmic capabilities). Although Hijra lack vaginas, many greatly enjoy (to orgasm) penetrative (anal) sexual activities with men. Because of their complete external emasculation, Hijra genitalia and pelvic regions look very "girly", and many men in India greatly enjoy lovemaking with them. The Hijra in turn accept their fate and their limited, but real, possibilities for finding at least a little bit of love as a woman in this life. - Vaginoplasty: Male to Female Sex Reassignment Surgery/ ai.eecs.umich.edu

"We are born with a gender identity crisis. It is not an imitated or learnt one, but a natural instinct that urges us to be women.'' - Dhanam

How I wish I could look
I've always dreamed of looking like this

 "The berdache were noted for being exclusively homosexual from the moment they took on the berdache identity/role until their death (Greenberg 1988) (though they paired off with non-berdache men). The common view that the berdache wore the clothes of the other sex is an oversimplified stereotype; it is more accurate to say that they wore some clothes of the other sex, which reflects their third-sex " - Rictor Norton, A Critique of Social Constructionism and Postmodern Queer Theory

" I agree, with above statement in that for myself, a strong need to feel female like, to project my identity as being psychologically as

  being very much more female like the male like, and sexually fully female like (mentally I am sexually 100% female) , or I can not, or   have any desire to actually be in the traditional role of a Straight ,heterosexual man, it is a conflict as,

  I want a Str8 man (sexual partner) to see me as a totally female roled,psychosexually female person, whom simply has a male


   11/26/2019                                               "Ideally the above image is how I feel I should look"

"Later narratives by explorers give accounts that backed up those of the French missionaries and military men. Both Alexander Henry and John Tanner, on separate voyages, encountered a person named Ozawwendib, the child of an Ojibwe chief, who was, in Henry’s words “a curious compound between a man and a woman” who “is a man both as to his members and courage, but pretends to be womanish, and dresses as such.” - Missionaries, Explorers, and the “Berdache”


The historical record demonstrates that, on the contrary, many homosexuals chose heterosexuality, but failed to maintain it because choice is less powerful than destiny. The idea that sexual identity is ‘malleable’ to the degree that social constructionists believe seems to me to be absurd. Abundant evidence demonstrates that sexual orientation cannot be changed even for men who are strongly motivated to change and who have voluntarily undergone extensive psychiatric therapies, involving the use of drugs and hormone injections, behaviour modification techniques, electric shock therapy, etc., in an effort to turn straight. The main result has been to make many therapists rich while shattering the lives of countless homosexuals. The widespread failure of all these therapies to achieve their purpose has lead to their virtual abandonment except by psychiatric institutions supported by the radical religious right in the United States. Most therapists now advise their clients to accept themselves and concentrate on managing their identities in a positive fashion; it is recognized, in effect, that their queerness is part of their essential nature and cannot be changed." -  Rictor Norton, A Critique of Social Constructionism and Postmodern Queer Theory,


                            " I very much agree with above, as I tried very much not to be a ; " Female-roled-male "


" Berdache occurred in at least 113 different tribes. In two-thirds of those cultures, there were only male berdache, whereas in the other third there were both male and female berdache. Thus, a biologically normal Indian male would take on the berdache role, simulate menstruation and pregnancy, and dress as a girl (later as an older woman). For males, the gender reversal resulted in their feminization and was a lifelong role."  - HOMOSEXUALITY AND LESBIANISM: CROSS-CULTURAL PERSPECTIVES


            " Looking back now, my feminization was set at age 13, or in my heart I knew I was fully psychosexually female "

                               " And at least for myself "non-changeable", way I was created, just trying to make best of it "

       "Has taken along time to accept it,embrace it, I am just glad now that I love being a " Fem-male ", love feeling feminine "

spring 1998