The " Berdache " as Role model- 8/17/2019
The primary purpose of coining a new term (two-spirit) was to encourage the replacement of the outdated, and offensive, anthropological term berdache, which means "passive partner in sodomy, boy prostitute."
Yet " passive partner in sodomy, boy prostitute."
I think most, third-gender,transgender,transsexual whatever it is to called,
people, myself included, don't have a defined model / a frame work to follow.
There is no defined Role,
So, when I see a model like berdache that I can relate to, at least I can compare myself to a "Idea of ",
and I have roled as " passive partner in sodomy, boy prostitute." (not for pay, yet role)
And as a Adult , very much a " passive partner in sodomy and in a prositutional role with hundreds of men "
One must set aside judgement / good-bad concept (including myself )
As it was what it was, is what it is, thus " pre-conceptions " do little good,
for navigating in a territory that has " No Map ", No directions given
As being "Trans" in a Society where Heteronormativity is the normal,
And " Trans " is very, very much not the "normal"
♦ The very reason " Trans " people need help with their Role in Society ♦
Though at age 13, when my 2 male friends sexually put me in the "female role", called me their "girly-boyfriend", guided me in the ways of being sexually like a girl for a man, being very eager to learn, yet at same time knowing that it wasn't what normal boys did,yet it felt very,very correct for me, yet soon found out Society doesn't accept a boy whom is called a "girly-boyfriend " ,
Once I started seeing men again in 1998, I'd tell the guys to call me "Fem-male friend " for most part.
Yet as I read about the berdache, I could see that I identify very closely with the traits, especially;
♦ Wanting the Female role sexually and just living in general
♦ The berdache had sex with heterosexual males, and often served many of males of the tribe, which I was doing
♦ That it is a defined Role, accepted by the tribe, I of course want to be accepted as a berdache type (female-roled-male)
Though it may sound simple, having sex with man,and wanting to be lady-like for him,
takes practice, there was no guidance for me, except by the men,
All I could really tell them was I wanted them to have sex with me,as though I was a lady,
I am passive with a man, I do want to be "told ", to suck cock by him etc.playfully
I wanted Man to be in charge, kindly
tell me to suck his cock,
tell me he wants me to come over, so he can fuck me silly etc.
And at least being in the " prositutional " role with men, I formed a bond, I think most people desire.
A similarity I have with what I read over and over with Third-gender types, is we most often want to mate with
heterosexual men, due to our identifying as " female like, desire to feel female like ", a realizing the difficulty
of finding a heterosexual male who is willing to take you as say a " live-in partner ", especially like myself that
can't pass as Female. Thus I had to live a secret life, try to surpress my sexual desires of being in female role
for " The Heterosexual Man "
Thus for me , once the chance to get the Attention of a group / groups of men, at least I could belong to a group
of men, they could be like " My tribe " to sexually pleasure / for me to mate with. Even this wasn't getting the
true Attention I desired, like a family, yet the " Tribe " could be a alternative like family, and at least get a form of Attention, though in part I was a " sex object ", their " Femboy slut ", I even liked them to call me their Slut, at
least I had a Role to play, and a name of that role, that clearly defined my status, my duties to perform.
I liked to think of myself as a Sexual surrogate
, or alternative female especially with the young single men say;
18-25 age , yet all. With respect and context / content they could practice on me , as often as able, different ways
of experimenting, say different positions, group sex , have a girl friend watch etc.
All the men whom had wives, I very much welcomed her to watch how their man had sex with me, simply so she could
clearly see I should not be a threat to their relationship, that I was clearly a 100% femininized / female roled male.
See that once a man was Done, had ejaculated, I always had a warm/soapy wash cloth, and quickly got their
penis washed throughly, as STD's is big Deal, I was constantly being tested, and by luck never contracted any
type of STD/ any, any I am very thankful.
I always carried bottle of Listerine, and gargled / washed my mouth out after performing fellatio / swallowing a man's ejaculation , which nearly always wanted to and did.
Looking back, I can't see where I could of taken more precautions or did better in selection of who or who I wouldn't
have sex with, other then being better at the Role I was in ! " My sexual skills as a Fem-male ", "skills of pleasuring a Man "... yet from 1998-2005 is only 7 years, kind of just when finding out what worked, my likes.
the men's likes,,I went " Celibate " and have been since, so about 15 years.
Sex Surrogate; Masters and Johnson introduced the practice in their book Human Sexual Inadequacy, published in 1970. They believed that people could learn about sexual intimacy only by experiencing it. In their research, subjects that were partnered used these partners to aid in a series of exercises designed to help overcome sexual dysfunction. Unpartnered subjects were paired with "surrogates" who would take the place of a partner, working under the direction of a trained therapist and acted as a form of mentor for the client. In their research, all of the surrogates were women who were assigned to work with single men. Today, most surrogates are women, but a few are men. The practice of Surrogate Partner Therapy reached its peak in the early 1980s with a few hundred surrogate partners practicing in the U.S. Since then, Surrogate Partner Therapy's popularity declined but has recently reentered social consciousness after the 2012 film The Sessions, which depicts one surrogate partner's work with a disabled man. Currently, those practicing Surrogate Partner Therapy are still very few in number. (I was just a Fem-male assigned to work with single or married men) -me
I naturally related to the following statement upon reading;
Many third and fourth gender natives had active sex lives. The Navajo nádleehí (literally, "changing one"), Kinábahí, claimed to have had sex with over one hundred different men. The Sauk and Fox held an annual dance in which a berdache, or aya'kwa, appeared surrounded by "her" lovers. Lakota winkte bestowed bawdy nicknames on the men who visited them, and warriors sometimes had sex with them before going to battle as a means of increasing their own virility.
Yet naturally as well that isn't going represent all individuals that identified as " berdache "
♥ It's just that aspect of the role fits me very well, my personality, sex drive .
♥ I feel I am a very good substitute for a true female sexually, when a substitute is needed.
♥ For myself "Sexual objectification" is my purpose, in a respectable way. I never mined
that my men, befriended me , employed me for sexual purposes, that's what I want !
And don't need paid !
I see myself much more like a sex surrogate,
Some one whom heterosexual men could experiment with sexually,
learning about anal sex, how to safely penetrate a person anally. Believe me, I will show you the right way, to bone me!
After all how do people Learn anything Best ?
but by direct experience
There is very Much a Beauty of going to Work / being in Role, knowing exactly what you are expected to do, then knowing it's Valued
For myself, I think I feel similar to a biological female in terms of a desire to bred with a male.
- Look back. I'd go through the same type of selection process, dating him,seeing what he was like,
how did he treat me prior to me submitting to him sexually in any way, at every stage being aware.
For example, no matter how I met a man for first time, we talk, if all was well, I'd ask him if I could
play with his cock, agreeing, he'd offer get it out, usually be already nearly or fully erect, I stroke him,talk,
again if all seemed well,I'd either know where I wanted to take his cock in my mouth or not, if did,this was
wonderful, if not I either gave him a hand-job, or told him this wasn't going to work, and departed company.
(lucky I was in not having encountered many men whom were " unfit "
But at all times, my objective was seeing if he was fit,
-To get his cock up in me, so I could get his semen in me-
I was very,very aware of this desire to be " Bred "
I had no desire for my own physical pleasure,
It normally felt very good, once I had a man's cock up in me,
especially if he was "doing the work", taking his time, so I could simply relax,
Let him take me
and enjoy how he felt up in me as he " bred me "
Once I knew he was ejaculating in me, and had,
For me, it is one of the most wonderful psychological feeling I know of,and have ever experienced.
"unfit "; I came to call this type " barbarians " - an uncultured or brutish, thug, beast, uneducated person