" I think in part , in a subconscious way, and in frame work of " For the Man whom has no voice ",
posing is a way to counter societies, lack of ability to separate nudity from sex, and thus hold Life drawing as Taboo.
Thus a form of freedom of expression
excerpt from Wikipedia (Model /art )
The Greeks, who had the naked body constantly before them in the exercises of the gymnasium, had far less need of professional models than the moderns; but it is scarcely likely that they could have attained the high level reached by their works without constant study from nature. It was probably in Ancient Greece that models were first used. The story told of Zeuxis by Valerius Maximus, who had five of the most beautiful virgins of the city of Crotone offered him as models for his picture of Helen, proves their occasional use. The remark of Eupompus, quoted by Pliny, who advised Lysippos, "Let nature be your model, not an artist", directing his attention to the crowd instead of to his own work, also suggests a use of models which the many portrait statues of Greek and Roman times show to have been not unknown. The names of some of these models of the era are themselves known, such as the beautiful Phryne who modeled for many paintings and sculptures.
The nude virtually disappeared from Western art during the Middle Ages due to a combination of civil disorder and the attitude of the early Christians. This changed with the Renaissance and the rediscovery of classical antiquity, when painters generally made use of their relatives and friends as models, of which many examples might be quoted from Venice, Florence, Rome and other places, and the stories of Titian and the duchess of Ferrara and of Botticelli and Simonetta Vespucci, go to show that ladies of exalted rank were sometimes not averse to having their charms immortalized by the painter's brush. The story of the love between Raphael and his mistress-model Margarita Luti (La Fornarina) is "the archetypal artist-model relationship of Western tradition".
Excerpt from above site ; (Nudity in art is professional, not sexual )
"Studying the human form is an intellectual pursuit. Part of my offense regarding the figure studies policies here is that it perpetuates the over-sexualization of American culture."
( I from experience see as well American culture can't put nudity in the proper -context / content -as a whole, as though nudity is automatically sexual / taboo, which shows a degree of " under-developed " sense of reality, or pre-conceptions instilled by some moral teachings.Cause for myself,when I am posing, there is nothing in my mind sexual about my nudity, so it can only be the " beholder's view point, which in art class I think most Artist's hold my view point ...it is very much Non-sexual )
Since my role began in 1997, of becoming a Nude Artist's Model, first and foremost my objective has been to help artists practice sketching, drawing, studying the human form for art's sake alone.
I believe I was drawn to the idea of Posing in a subconscious way, in that it is also a role in which is more Feminine, I was at a point in life , where to move ahead in my true identity of being a third-gender/transsexual variety, I soon found posing allowed me to express myself in a non-traditional male role, at least for myself I could be much more in a Female role, be accepted, not condemned for being much more Feminine.
I do believe , the desire to Pose for classes as a male with comfirmation surgery (vaginoplasty or vulvoplasty, and breast implants) could be a very constructive endeavor, could help see that a human being can shape their own identity, be very different, yet very normal, non-destructive to society, that one can be a transsexual type, and not have it get turned into a " freak show ".
For myself Life drawing classes should aways have models that reflect societies diversity of anatomical body shapes.sizes,etc.,etc.
-The Desire to Pose nude-
- A Exploritory Progression the discover my Sexual Identity as a Female-Roled male -
When I read entry in the classified Ads " Male and Female artist's models needed for Life Drawing classes,
must be able to pose nude,18 years old " in 1997, my attention was gotten, and held, the thought that entered,
my mind was " you should do this, it will good for you ", really no other thoughts, no reasons, to questioning....
" Just for some reason- This will be good for you, yet the " Idea of " , I can pose as a Female Does !, was compelling, or attached it's self to my thoughts . Being able to be a male, pose nude so Artists could study me, and as they study Females too! , I could be nude, and people would not be offended by seeing my penis, seeing,
I am in the Body of a Man !
My first class, the introduction to getting nude for a group of humans, in order for them to study me nude.
I was very nervous indeed, my knees shaking as I stepped up on the posing stage, maybe like one feels right before jumping out of a airplane, and in hopes will survive !, Dis-robing , and suddenly just being nude,
I found not terrible, least I could say " I did it " and still standing! Now though I must pose!, for myself,
I had always loved the beauty of Ladies posing, so seeing images of Ladies in different poses, entered my
mind, thus I could pose as them! And it felt good to Pose as the " Ladies in my mind ".
- Shaving my smooth to appear more Lady-Like and less primitive-
This where things started getting complex, as I was feeling needs to present myself much more "Feminine"
like, yet did know exactly why, I knew I was sexually confused, yet my sex life was conventional, with females
and seemed ok, I really had done so well to repress my past " lust for dreaming of a man taking me sexually
like a female", it wasn't computing, Yet the poses I was doing were based on female images in my mind, I wasn't
thinking in any erotic way as far as my posing for classes, I truly was thinking ;
" how can I present my self best for the Artists / students, so they can practice drawing ? "
Shaving around my penis, I rationalized as being " utility ", they could not be blinded by all this " Hair ",
only after I had shaved completely smooth, did I realize I liked being this way so much better, never again do
I want to look " Manly ", And from that point on ,til now, I keep myself cleanly shaved.
- Posing put me in a " environment " to be seen ways un-intended-
I honestly was posing, at least in my Conscience mind, for the purpose of being part of the Artistic process
, I loved to draw myself, when I wasn't posing myself, I could go to classes free in order to draw ther other models, which I took advantage of as often as could. Yet I found myself, being " Hit " on by men, wanting me sexually, I wasn't offended, yet wasn't attracted to any of them, until a sexy black man showed interest in me
, and the way he did " seeing me in a very defined " me as feminine,me in a Lady-like role for him ".
Very,very quickly, and so naturally, as natural as the " The need to Breed is ", I wanted to be Lady-like for him
I so much, to feel his penis in my body , and his climax too. I had to see him!
- Taken as a Lady by a Real Man-
Once My new Friend was taking me sexually as a Lady, I knew I could never again be in the;
" Man role sexually", ever,ever again!
Having my new friend's penis up in me as he Climaxed is by far the greatest ;
" most real and natural psychological/ emotion pleasure I know"
I often wish I had had the Vaginoplasty surgery done, while posing alot, as was known then as a dependable trusted model, and maybe then I could of easily transitioned into modeling as a transsexual person, discribing myself as a "Female roled male, anatomically sexually female " which now I can say I know I am psychologically 100% female both sexually and non-sexual, and pretty sure have been all my life, from the stand-point , that all my life- I wanted not to be male -, wanted to do what the girls are doing, and a defined thought through out life, as far back as can recall, in a very symbolic way, is ..........
- Breast feeding - , if I seen a female breast feeding in a picture, in person, I wished so much I could breast feed a child as they where doing, still do.
Ever since first getting penetrated by a male in my bottom, if I really like them , I often playfully tell
them " I wish I could have your baby ", and if I really like a man , I will bug him to death trying to get him to
ejaculate in my bottom.
- Would I even be allowed to model as " Male with Breasts and a Vagina- without a Penis - ?
A question that I have asked myself often, would simply be un-acceptable for most College life-drawing classes in 1999, or now 20 years later ?.
By the time 2000 rolled around, I had been with a enough men sexually, that I knew for sure I wanted the Vaginoplasty surgery,Due to fact that it was bothering me alot ,that I couldn't present myself to a Man in a the Female fashion I desired,bother me greatly, I wanted to show them that though I looked male on the outside, I very,very much felt female like on the inside, and when I undressed for them , I wanted them to see that I am 100% female sexually, and wanted to be treated as though I were " A Lady " If I explained to them that I am a Transsexual type, that getting the surgery was difficult at best, and I was looking into getting the surgery , at least they knew my role was 100% female, they understood, and empathtic to my dilemma, as most where, Yet would a College/ teaching environment be, if I explained that getting the surgery is very much a identity need, as well as practical in the frame work of ; Finding a partner and being in the most defined role possible with that partner, and over coming the high degree of Cognitive - dissonance of not having the anatomical genitals which fits your sexual identity, only being able to be penetrated anally, which to some is opposed to their religious beliefs
A big Reason I have been doing the Third-gender / transsexual type Poses, is because I believe many transsexual peoples like myself can't afford to pay for the surgeries required to " Pass " as female, or like myself are content being very Female like, yet do not feel need to be called " Female " , and in my case being called Fem-male,berdache,third-gender is fine.
How do we determine someone's gender? Is what we assume we see the same as what we actually see? Shoulder-to-shoulder, my medically and hormonally altered transgender body dresses and undresses simultaneously revealing the assumptions we all hold around bodies, gender, and manhood. What Makes a Man, asserts the visible/invisible transgender body as merely a surface for the projection of our own subjectivity.
The above video shows my way of thinking in terms of " my gender " , in that it is not important to me to pass as female, because I am " not female ", don't wish to pretend to be, yet psychologically I am much more female roled, I want to be in the traditional female role sexually, thus my strong desire to have a female like vagina, and maybe more so, desire to not have a penis, thus whether my sexual partner is male or female, it is very clear, that by not having a penis, I can not perform sexually as a male. and I want to perform sexually as if I where a female, this has been my desire since at least age 13, my first contact as truly being in the female role.Believe me, I tried being a traditional male, in the man's role sexually, yet it doesn't work, simply because I need to be penetrated by a man, as though I am a female. my role
I think there is way to much Assuming going on that being trangender or transsexual means you need to outwardly appear like your " roled " gender!
I do know one great Truth of Life is - " We can't always have what we Desire ", yet we can learn of maybe why we desire what we desire, make sense of it, and Imagine it. After over 20 years of recording myself posing nude , I very much know I greatly desire the view of myself portrayed on the right, much over that on the left. Just so much better fits my emotional self , my sexual identity .