The idea of sex as a strategy to meet psychological needs sounds weird to many because sex,
is also a physiological drive, like eating or sleeping.
But unlike eating or sleeping, you can go your whole life without sex and not be any worse off for it.
The fact is, as humans, we’ve actually evolved to use sex to meet our psychological needs, not our physical needs.
Humans have evolved a psychological system of emotional attachment. Totally involuntary yet universal, regardless of culture, age or race, we get deeply and strongly emotionally attached to one another throughout our lives. It starts with a child to its parents. And assuming our parents don’t fuck it up too much, that attachment moves beyond our parents and onto some (not all) of our sexual partners. The rise in oxytocin, serotonin, drop in testosterone levels, decreased prefrontal cortex activity — these processes are designed to get us drunk on love with each other long enough to at least raise a highly functioning, healthy child or two (or ten).
And so while sex is absolutely a physiological function, and in some ways, it’s no different than eating or crapping, evolution has intertwined our drive for sex (note: a drive, not a need) with our psychological needs for esteem and connection. They’re intimately linked. And they can’t be unlinked. Even if one manages to suppress those needs, they come roaring back in the forms of neediness and overcompensation.
Nature has cleverly wired us this way — to put our psychological needs first and then use sex to fulfill them in order to trick us into sticking around and taking care of one another. Sure, we may still try to get a little sumthin’ sumthin’ on the side now and again. And sure, when we break up and feel crappy, we may go on a little sex spree to feel good about ourselves
" I don’t know about most women but I love to have guys ejaculate in my vagina. I love the feeling when they get close and start to lose control, when they start to pound me really hard and then fall over the edge and release themselves into me, gasping and shuddering and groaning. I love the feeling of taking their cum deep inside me, of them releasing their load in my deep innermost being.
That said, I’m very careful about who I let cum inside me. I only do it with a guy I really trust and have known a long time, that has had a vasectomy and has a current STD test. I save it as a treat for a special guy and occasion. I usually have a guy cum in my mouth because it’s safer (both pregnancy and STD wise) and because I love giving head so much".
I feel no differently then these Ladies above ↑
excerpt from above ↑;
So, where do we stand on transgender issues? Science tells us that gender is certainly not binary; it may not even be a linear spectrum. Like many other facets of identity, it can operate on a broad range of levels and operate outside of many definitions. And it also appears that gender may not be as static as we assume. At the forefront of this, transgender identity is complex – it’s unlikely we’ll ever be able to attribute it to one neat, contained set of causes, and there is still much to be learned. But we know now that several of those causes are biological. These individuals are not suffering a mental illness, or capriciously “choosing” a different identity. The transgender identity is multi-dimensional – but it deserves no less recognition or respect than any other facet of humankind.
Katherine Wu is a third-year graduate student in the BBS program at Harvard University.
I recently overheard someone comment to her friend about a gay male couple walking ahead of them on the sidewalk. The girl said, “Who do you think is the girl in the relationship?” I couldn’t help but frown at the girl and shake my head. As clear as you would think it is to see, I’ll spell it out for you: neither of them are the girl. They’re both boys.
Not to say that traditional ideas of gender roles don’t play a part in a gay relationship, but they’re a little more diluted, I would say. A gay man may show effeminate qualities, but that doesn’t make him the “woman” of the relationship. Just like the muscled, bearded gay man doesn’t have to be the “man” of the relationship.-redandblack.com /Great Sexpectations: What about gender roles in same-sex relationships?
♥ For myself and technically I am homosexual ,yet in above ↑ scenario, I am homosexual,the other male isn't, ; and I am 100% → The female, and my desire is to be very female like
This Whole Topic so Complex
My research has lead me to believe that the whole naming thing as caused so much confusion, that simply stating one's Role is all that can be done . Thus for myself ,,,if asked I'd have to say .." I am 100% female roled male ", and maybe jokingly say " I should of been a female , meaning I want bred like a female "
♥ From my experience Gay males ultimately desire a male similar to themselves, that identifies as male, don't wish to appear female like
♥ Transgender desire to appear / be like opposite sex- like myself, I've always wanted to be like a female,sexually and appearance mainly by having vagina ,get pregnant, I think in large part due to fact I only desire to have sex as a female.
For myself I like the saying;
" Spiriit of a Woman ,Body of a Man "
Third Genders: New Concept? Or Old?
In nearly all of human history and, in particular, human culture, we have recognized and integrated at least two genders. For most societies, this means labeling two sexes (male/female) and two genders (man/woman) with the ideas of transsexualism and homosexuality being their own separate sect as novel and unprecedented, however cases of a “third gender” are well documented in multiple societies.
Though many of these societies may refer to transsexuals or homosexuals as a third or separate gender, most of the time, these extra genders represent individuals who identify neither as men nor women. To most of these cultures, this means that the third gender symbolizes the intermediate condition between the genders or a state of being both. (This is often described as the “spirit of a man in a woman’s body” and vice versa.) In layman’s terms, this means that individuals included in this third gender either have no gender affiliation, have the ability to cross or swap between genders, or are a gender category all together independent of the traditional male and female roles.here are an overwhelming amount of examples of another or “third gender” in cultures in the past:
Excerpt from " Human Condition 817 "
"Prostitution is said to be the oldest profession the world has known, it is one of the amenities implemented to satisfy man’s sexual appetite. The woman has been patient and tolerant throughout history, she has kept house and gave birth to babies, she has observed how man’s ego and aggression hinders and blindfolds his better judgment, but hoped that man the self proclaimed leader of the human condition would recognize how instrumental her contribution could be to the destiny of the human family, but man’s egotistical instinct dominates his judgment and chaos always ensues. Now in recognition of this her perception of a flawed personality in man, woman demanded that her voice be heard and her status be acknowledged, she determined to have a say as to who the leader of the pack should be, she no longer settled to be man’s secretary or “gofer” because man said she should, she claims her status in society because she is qualified to, recognition has to be given to her academic scholarship which determine that she could do so much more, and her natural maternal tendency in the work environment propelled her to decision making status.
Man’s resistance was obviously expected, but the woman’s fangs were already embedded into the throat of the system and her influence on the family structure generally all coupled towards the evolution/revolution of the woman. Her evolution was cunning and quick, she has flooded the workplace, in a lot of areas she has replaced the man by first selling her services cheaper than her male counterpart, and now that her foot is in the door she has upped her price and status. She is mapping her new landscape in the annals of history. But the male habit dies hard, his ego is finding difficulty wrapping itself around this budding new world order. The era when superiority was his and subservience was hers is fading into the cesspool of history, it is difficult for him to accept she is no longer a vessel to be used only for his pleasure, she now stands in defiance exclaiming; “Your man power is diminished through a weakness, your sexual deviance! you dare not touch me anymore if I don’t want you to”.
longer subjected to your victimization, I, woman am worthy of honor and respect that you have been blinded to by your self-righteousness, recognize! I am woman”.
The world has now entered the era of, “the house mom” as a male and “the breadwinner” as female: The division of labor is changing hands. Husbands speak of their wives pregnancy now as “we are pregnant” rather than “she is pregnant” as it used to be. Now old wounds that haunted the memory of the woman through the victimization by man erupt under the scabs of time challenging the system that perpetuated her degradation. But the male when accused, quietly, secretly wondered what was he expected to do in the face of what he perceives to be sexual temptation from the woman, but because the moral lid adopted by society restricts him from speaking his truths bravely and clearly, he utters under his breath, “Your very presence in my space is persuasive! I am trapped in this state of visual attraction, and as you compete for recognition you achieve your intention, my attention! The scent of a woman is like honey to a bee, to me! woman, how can I contain this desire that entraps like a vise grip on my imagination, how do I make you understand that your nakedness even partially ignites a fire in me that only you can quench! Until then it burns forever. In this existence that we share our roles seem to be defined perfectly, you the persuader and me the pursuer. It is no accident that the contours of your body with it’s curves and valleys were designed specifically for my persuasion, and my perpetual pursuit of you is sponsored by this seed I carry in my being that harbors a desire to germinate. ‘Go forth multiply and replenish the earth,’ is written and if these words were written into the DNA of the human condition by a principle beyond my control, I, Man, maybe at the mercy of this order.”
Excerpts from ; " Historically, Native American Tribes Thought Gays Were Great!
According to Young–a bespectacled 51-year-old Brooklynite–Two-Spirit refers to “third gender individuals who function in culture as ‘bridge people,’ or someone who and ‘walks betweens’ male and female worlds.”
While Two-Spirited people did and do have sexual relations with members of their own sex, Young is quick to offer a broader perspective. “It would be a mistake to characterize these individuals solely by virtue of their sexuality, though it was often a facet of their social existence. These individuals were seen as mediators, healers, shamans, teachers, culture-carriers, and counselors. Sexual relations would happen in the shamanist tradition of ‘gifting’ such a person. But the important idea is that the social distinction was a part of a larger social role, and the sexuality was a small, albeit important, part of the picture.”
He compares Two-Spirit traditions with those of ancient Greece, where “men had women for the purpose of procreation and had berdache lovers for love or spiritual reasons. In many cultures which considered sexual intercourse a method of communication with their god or gods, same-sex-identified men served as sacred whores, as did heterosexual women. Many of the Great Plains chiefs were known to have berdache ‘wives,’ for example, and berdache were often brought along on hunting and warring parties because they were considered to lend a certain dignity and good blessing on the proceedings.
“There were both male and female Two-Spirits, the men usually taking on the social roles of women and the women generally taking on the social roles of men, including having wives and serving as warriors.” Young adds that berdache warriors were often known to be “among the strongest fighters in some tribes.”
“Since heterosexual people must be concerned with populating the planet, it may well be the concern of homosexual people to civilize it. Within the confines of Native American spirituality, Two-Spirited people were considered to be ‘adepts’ in the spiritual world as a natural component of their soul. If the purpose of heterosexuality is the continuation of the gene pool, then the purpose of homosexuality is to make sure it is Olympic-sized with nice tile and plenty of lanes, and with nice terry cloth towels for everyone.”
I can identify with ; " same-sex-identified men served as sacred whores"- me
I can handle being a "Sacred Whore"(a selective Whore at least )
A point about " Straight Men having sex with men " , I very much agree this men are attracted to Women intimately , for example the men I've had sex with,we don't make-out,kiss etc.(a reason I am not gay) I myself am not interested in that, I simply friends ,yet he is treating me sexually as though I am a " Lady ". This is very good way to see what I feel is difference between myself (a transgender person) and Gay- two males whom both feel very male, their gender identity is - Male-,...….. where my gender identity is - third-gender-(highly psychologically female,100% sexually female roled and life long desire to have a vagina not have a penis)
My thought is ;
Straight males - are Only intimately attracted to females, will only wish to partner with a female in this context , however in proper content and context, many truly str8 men could allow a gay or transgender male perform "fellatio" on them, give them a hand- job, and even penetrate the gay male or transgender male anally In my case, I called myself a " Slutboy " yet a "Whore" fits !
I do believe a Straight male had a choice of say " Boning " myself, dressed very feminine,telling him treat me like the "lady" I wish I was, or a gay male with a beard looking manly, ..The Straight male is most likely going to " Bone " me, I am much less a threat to his masculinity , and from my experience there can be a high Empathy factor involved concerning the transgenders dilemma.
We have to remember we are human and Empathy is a component that makes us human, and most people can clearly see that the Transgender person as quite a "Dilemma", and from my research a vast majority of Trangender/female-roled males are mainly attracted to Straight males, and the likely hood of finding a partner is not good, not likely to many Str8 men will want to partner with me, let alone be seen in public with my self dressed as I desire to dress ↓
The Only reason the Theme of my story " Terrace " works is due fact Michael whom is a Transgender/female-roled male and William is a Straight male, whom have been friends for many years prior, Michael after years of friendship tells William his dilemma, and only out of Empathy for Michaels dilemma, not for his own sexual pleasure , he tells Michael that he will " Bone " him if he wishs, thus William routinely " Bones Michael ", in essense William becomes the "Whore", yet simply due to helping a very good friend ;
" out of Empathy ".
I've had sex with men whom proclaim they are " Strictly Gay Top men ", and must say one of these " Top Men " would routinely see me, beautifully put me in my female role, he could give me long , slow bonings,(partly cause he was 10") lasting good half hour, due to fact I trusted him, how he was so empathetic to me being transgender, I wanted him to be in me without a condom so he could ejaculate up in me. To me he seems Str8, that is empathetic to Transfeminine males like myself, I do know one thing he Knew how to make me feel "Lady-like ", for example when he was finally ready to ejaculate he'd warn me,ask me if I wanted in my bottom or mouth,,I always choose bottom,, then he'd start his climax cycle, intense spasms he had, just having him up in me, knowing his semen was squirting out into me is the greatest a man can do to make me feel Feminine.
For example ;
♥ I first and foremost want only to be in Female-role sexually, to keep things simply I'll be direct as possible.
1. My number one objective is to find a male, that can willingly offer his penis to me, for purpose of breeding me,
on my " Indigo page " I talk of being at the " Last Man Standing " parties, and the girls whom are there in the same " Role " as myself'. -being penetrated by the men
2. My real pleasure comes psychologically not physically .. for example I am watching one of the girls getting penetrated by a man, he says he is about to ejaculate, the girl waves me over, getting there she pulls his condom off, then tell me to sit on the mans cock so he can ejaculate up in me. I do ,he ejaculates up in me. She knows my please comes from " I was just bred like a Female "..that is the greatest pleasure of all for me!
" By Nature's design " this is fairly certain
The very most basic role of being Male is; Ejaculating his semen in a receptive female!
The very most basic role of being Female is ; Being receptive to taking the semen!
3. Thus my basic role is being "Female", even though I can't get pregnant. I have that role/desire
I have always simply had a over-whelming desire to be Impregnated by men, not the act of just them thrusting their penis in out of me.....I want their Semen in me, Once I've got a man's penis completely up inside me, he tells me " Michael , I'm cumming", and he does ! ,that is the highest
pleasure level I can reach, I've taken his semen up in me !, I've been "Bred" by him, and hopefully he will have liked," simply breeding me", so he might again (I don't let men breed me I first don't like).
4. For example ; the scenario of the girl at the " Last Man Standing " party waving me over when the man she has been being boned by, is ready to ejaculate, this never came to happen due to rules of the party, yet even the girls themselves suggested that at the end of the night, the guy's whom still could ejaculate, the girl waves me over, getting there she pulls his condom off, then tell me to sit on the mans cock so he can ejaculate up in me. they'd (the girls), would wave me over get the guy's cock out of themselves ,get the condom off,get it up in my bottom so, the guy could ejaculate in me. It was nice of them, I very much understood why the Rules needed to remain . And beside many of the men, I would see alone privately , at least after 1st year of attending, and they'd ejaculate in me then.
5. The Role of Men , I wanted to see - 100% male, even though the male above who called himself a
" gay top man" - at that moment time he was in the male role, he'd didn't show desire to touch my penis, wish to fellate/suck my penis, which I would not allow,(I have no desire for a male to suck my penis) as that would put me in the male role, just as I have no desire to penetrate a Female or male with my penis, nore have I had that desire, thus I've never had the desire to be in the male role, even when with females, my desire was they would " Cuckold " me , thus find another male to penetrate both her and I, then I could escape the male role. For example in story "Terrace", William and Jodi might be having sex,myself laying next to them, when William says he is ready to ejaculate, Jodi often would tell William " Michael's been waiting, a needs your cum in him ", -she dismounts, helps me get William's cock up in me before he ejaculates. I think a big problem our Society has is labeling things as this " Fetish " smply because it is Different, if that where the case nearly everything is a Fetish - Yet there are many reasons I'm sure why a male might wish his female partner to be penetrated by another male,
- mine simply is " I have no desire to be in male role ", if for example my female partner, and this new male whom is now boning her , can not accept my desire to be in female role, and he is unable to start boning me as well, then she will have to decide if her I split, or we find a male to form a polyandry triad type relationship described in " Terrace" , Her and the Male (male roled male) whom have conventional relationship, my role sexual is to simply sexually pleasure by fellatio, and taking his ejaculation anally. In Terrace for example; publicly, I am just a very good friend,whom is transgender whom lives with Jodi and William- simple, yet very Human!.
6. For example in the far above writing - " Many of the Great Plains chiefs were known to have berdache ‘wives,’ as well as called them for sexual purposes/ spiritual aspects etc. Ancient Greece, where ; “men had women for the purpose of procreation and had berdache lovers for love or spiritual reasons
Thus reason I very much identify as berdache type person, " I in essense was a ; " male whore for male roled men ", If I where to start having sex again after nearly 14 years of being celibate , I still was what I was, if I where to find a male to take me in my berdache role/ female roled male, a truly gay male wouldn't work, another berdache most likely not, a couple like in Terrace would be ideal, or I form a indigo club, and be a berdache for a group of straight men who I sexually pleasure.
Terrace is my 1st choice,.... yet the indigo club 2nd, or 3rd ....try find single male str8 partner who take me as Femboy,shemale, etc.(for example if I got breast implants,put make-up on to appear female, I could call myself a Shemale )
I spent 7 years trying to find the 3rd choice
A excerpt from ; Meet the Muxes
“We fall in love with men who have a life, have girlfriends, men who ultimately like women,” Shaula explains. “Our relationships are momentary. I’ve been in love endless times.”
Shaula says she’s learned “to enjoy the moment” throughout the years and not worry. “A man will never commit to a muxe because he wants to eventually build a life with a woman.”
2nd choice might be realistic-I could much would enjoy getting boned by say 6 men every day so they could ejaculate in me after pleasuring them. a safe way
I know one thing , I am to old and tired to do what I did back in early 2000's. a unsafe way
I do thing the Muxe of Zapotec are most clearly defined, and I am very much defined like them ; " Neither Male nor Female"
And from what I've read Muxe are Female-roled males, wish to publicly appear female like (which I wish to)
excerpt from above site;
" Let's dispel one myth right away. Transsexuals are women. Women are generally not the aggressors in bed. Women want to be "taken," they usually aren't the ones to initiate sex by pulling their men into the bedroom. There's plenty of anecdotal evidence to support this notion. Check out the covers of romance novels in any bookstore, for example. Look into a woman's eyes -- notice how they draw you in?
If you're a "bottom" male hoping that a pre-op or non-op transsexual will bend you over and fuck you, well you can forget about it. Women, transsexual or otherwise, generally do not want to fuck you. They want you to fuck them. As a TS lady friend expressed it to me recently, "Women receive, they do not project."
For the guy looking to be "topped," expect to have to pay an escort for that service. That is mostly what they specialize in. If paying for a romp in bed isn't your style, it is very doubtful you will find it anywhere else in the TS community. Cross dressers, however, are a different matter. These are not women, they are men enjoying a dress-up fetishistic fantasy. You may find what you want with one of them."
I myself very much agree.....I want Fucked as a Female- just Imagine, cause inside I am !
I wanted many Black men to get me pregnant,,deep down,,just kept that idea to myself.
Transgender (TG): describes people who begin the process of changing their gender appearance. These steps may be in the form of wearing clothing typically associated with the other sex, undergoing hormone treatments and/or surgical procedures, removing unwanted hair, etc., as with transsexuals. The difference is that transgender people wish to transition their gender but may not necessarily want to undergo SRS. Sexual orientation varies. For example if I felt the " vaginoplasty surgery methods where more advanced to my liking, I would make every attempt to at least have " vaginoplasty " surgery performed, thus I am a wanta be transsexual.
excerpt from "notes on gender role; ↑
Group One (G1) is best described as those natal males who have a high degree of cross-sexed gender identity. In these individuals, we can hypothesize that the prenatal androgenization process--if there was any at all--was minimal, leaving the default female identity intact. Furthermore, the expression of female identity of those individuals appears impossible or very difficult for them to conceal.
Group Two (G2) is composed of natal females who almost universally report a life- long history of rejecting female dress conventions along with, girls' toys and activities, and have a strong distaste for their female secondary sex characteristics. These individuals typically take full advantage of the social permissiveness allowed women in many societies to wear their hair short and dress in loose, gender-neutral clothing. These individuals rarely marry, preferring instead to partner with women who may or may not identify as lesbian. Group Two is the mirror image of Group One.
I relate to group 3 best
Group Three (G3) is composed of natal males who identify as female but who act and appear normally male. We can hypothesize that prenatal androgenization was sufficient to allow these individuals to appear and act normally as males but insufficient to establish a firm male gender identity. For these female-identified males, the result is a more complicated and insidious sex/gender discontinuity. Typically, from earliest childhood these individuals suffer increasingly painful and chronic gender dysphoria. They tend to live secretive lives, often making increasingly stronger attempts to convince themselves and others that they are male.
The story is very different for Group Three. In the hope of ridding themselves of their dysphoria they tend to invest heavily in typical male activities. Being largely heterosexual, they marry and have children, hold advanced educational degrees and are involved at high levels of corporate and academic cultures. These are the invisible or cloistered gender dysphorics. They develop an aura of deep secrecy based on shame and risk of ridicule and their secret desire to be female is protected at all costs. The risk of being found out adds to the psychological and physiological pressures they experience. Transitioning from this deeply entrenched defensive position is very difficult. The irony here is that gender dysphoric symptoms appear to worsen in direct proportion to their self-enforced entrenchment in the male world. The further an individual gets from believing he can ever live as a female, the more acute and disruptive his dysphoria becomes.
Cloistered (G3) gender dysphoric boys appear to others and even to themselves to be heterosexual. Although as a group they are not especially active daters, they clearly prefer to date girls when they do date. Significantly, unlike other boys, their dating motives are markedly different. For these boys, being on a date with a girl is a chance to spend time with a girl in a way not generally allowed under other circumstances. Dating serves two purposes for these boys. The first is social, as it gives them the all-important appearance of being normal. The second is therapeutic. Being close to a girl's softness, and even her female smell, has a mitigating effect on gender expression deprivation anxiety. The fantasy is not to make love to her but to actually be her.
What is the difference between a cross dresser and a man who wants to be a woman?
Anne Vitale Ph.D.
Jan 1, 2009
On the other hand, genetic males who eventually go on to transition permanently to the female gender role (transsexuals), cross dress to ease gender expression deprivation. Dressing is serious business for these individuals. It is only during these cross dressing periods that they can find a sense of wholeness. Unlike the cross dresser described above, transsexuals have little or no love for their alienated sense of masculinity and they are more then willing to give up its influence on their lives totally via hormones and surgery.
Type of sexual images, video, adult film type imagery
♦ Myself I love beautiful black and white images of nude women (non-sexual as muses)and sexy black men (sexual as partner)
♦ I have no interest in gay porn
♦ I like traditional heterosexual ,a male and female (yet I imagine I am the female)- been like that as long as can remember.
excerpt from above ↑ ;
. Gender: “Gay men are all feminine”
The idea that male homosexuality is directly linked with femininity is erroneous. While there are of course some gay men who express themselves (via speech, dress and behavior) in ways which are traditionally “feminine,” there are many others who do not. Men behaving in an effeminate manner is not inherently problematic or deserving of public shaming. What is problematic is the assumption that all gay men display the same type of gender behavior. Gay men, as a group, display tremendous diversity in their expressions and displays of masculinity and femininity. Part of the reason this myth about the “femininity” of gay men survives is because many of the most masculine gay men are not necessarily open about their sexual orientation and/or it is not “assumed” by others that such men are gay. In this regard, the most visible gay men are often those who superficially meet the stereotype of femininity, not those who challenge it.
From my experience, no Gay men desire to be " Lady like ". -me
Like Asperger's Syndrome , or high functioning Autism spectrum,
I believe Transgender / homosexuality comes in many degrees ,shapes and sizes.
Knowing Human beings need that " Seal of Certainty "
Maybe the very base for the need for Religion,
Yet the hardest part is simply Knowing , I don't Know
I'd like to have her " Pig Tails " :)
I think Debra Soh, helps a lot, in saying Nature decides one's gender and sexual indentity - period.
I don't believe any further explanation is really needed,
Accepting it and Moving on
I do know my gender is Male
I do know my sexual indentity is Female, thus to appear female like, is a Indentifier, symbolic, comfirms that I wish to be 100% female roled sexually. Thus like the Bow or Basket concept, you desire to be female like or male like in role, yet myself knowing I still am male biologically, yet desire to clearly be seen female roled 100% sexually, best I can.
What I can't explain is why I prefer straight men, as I been with men whom identify a " Gay Top " men, and very much enjoyed ,
how they could treat me like a Lady. Respect that I don't want attention paid to my maleness (penis).
And no surgery or hormones will in reality can my feeling
on comfirm to a mate, of my role.
A lot of gay men , from my experience fit into the the above frame-work, and very much different then a homosexual trans person like myself (desiring to have sex with Str8 men in my fem-male role)