"The Mediator in our Minds"


Every day our minds at come into conflict with it's self, such as ; Should I do this or Should I do that, this page is dedicated to exploring the role of " Mediator ", becoming aware of the Mediatations that occurs in our minds .

Maybe and Likely my being Androgynous, I am very aware of the "Mediator" and Right / Left brain difference, when in one or the other modes

I found this article while doing a web search titled " mediator in our own minds"

Legends in Our Own Minds

In a new book, psychologist Sam Sommers charts the ways that we can better understand ourselves and others by paying closer attention to context .
excerpt that reflects a idea of what would apply to; " mediator in our own minds "

One chapter, for instance, looks at the heartbreaking case of the 2-year-old boy who was led away from a Liverpool shopping center in 1993 by two 10-year-olds who then killed him. Thirty-eight people admitted to seeing the toddler as he was being taken away—at some points being kicked or shaken by the older boys—yet no one intervened.

What was the matter with those people, we ask in horror, absolutely sure that we would have saved the little boy. Or would we? Examining the context and drawing on pertinent research, Sommers explains how it’s all too easy for even the most well-intentioned among us to fail to see a bad situation for what it is, or to act the way we think we would.  (there could of been that "should we or should we not conflict in those 38 peoples minds)

Sam Sommers author of ; Situations Matter: Understanding How Context Transforms Your World (Riverhead Books).- article at - Tufts Now


I had been doing a lot of research on Context and Content of our perception, partly lead me to Mediator in our mind idea

"When people behave immorally according to their own standards, they feel bad. Rational people may therefore engage in less of an immoral activity than would be in their material self-interest. Despite this fact, I show that increasing people's distaste for being immoral can increase the level of immoral activities. This can happen because of the psychological phenomenon of cognitive dissonance: people will feel pressure to convince themselves that immoral activities are in fact moral; if each person's beliefs affect the beliefs of others, then increasing the pain from being immoral may cause members of society to convince each other that immoral activities are morally okay, and society will engage in more of such activities."

The inner critic or "critical inner voice" is a concept used in popular psychology and psychotherapy to refer to a subpersonality that judges and demeans a person.[1]

A concept similar in many ways to the Freudian superego as inhibiting censor,[2] or the negative Jungian animus,[3] the inner critic is usually experienced as an inner voice attacking a person, saying that he or she is bad, wrong, inadequate, worthless, guilty, and so on.

There are, indeed, not a few people who are well aware that they possess a sort of inner critic or judge who immediately comments on everything they say or do. Insane people hear this voice directly as auditory hallucinations. But normal people too, if their inner life is fairly well developed, are able to reproduce this inaudible voice without difficulty, though as it is notoriously irritating and refactory it is almost always repressed. - Jung

I have called this process in its totality the transcendent function, “function” being here understood not as a basic function but as a complex function made up of other functions, and “transcendent” not as denoting a metaphysical quality but merely the fact that this function facilitates a transition from one attitude to another. The raw material shaped by thesis and antithesis, and in the shaping of which the opposites are united, is the living symbol. Its profundity of meaning is inherent in the raw material itself, the very stuff of the psyche, transcending time and dissolution; and its configuration by the opposites ensures its sovereign power over all the psychic functions

I think for myself, due to my gender dysphoria,,my inter critic has caused my greater pain, project thoughts of guilt,shame etc. for example " you can't be in the female role with a man"

I now can say " I have the ability to Choose the Role, I wish for, and feel best suited for ! " so be done!

excerpt from ; A Hidden Reason for Suicidal Thoughts

" The inner critic has no business butting into our life and curtailing our inner freedom. With emotional strength, we’re able to shut down and neutralize our presumptuous inner critic. However, a person with greater deposits of inner passivity can be harassed and bullied by the inner critic to the point of experiencing helplessness against it and acquiring self-loathing and self-hatred in the process."

excerpt from 

   " One of the most needed, least known skills in our world today is conflict resolution. We don’t learn it in school, at home, in the media, or on the streets. We don’t learn it at all, most of us. So we act on impulse, lapsing into fight or flight, perpetuating cycles of misunderstanding and violent interactions on levels from the interpersonal to the international.

The ancient wisdom of the East affirms the dynamic balance of complementary opposites--yin and yang, night and day, action and contemplation. But our Western minds too readily fall into the logical fallacy of the false dilemma, reducing our complex lives to only two options, either-or: win or lose, right or wrong, all or nothing, us or them.

When this reductive dualism narrows our minds and limits our choices, we see differences as threats and others as enemies. Instead of working together to solve our problems, we spend time blaming, shaming, and attacking others—and the problems only escalate.  

Over 25 centuries ago, Lao Tzu wrote in the Tao Te Ching:

Blame and attack
Rage and resentment
Perpetuate cycles
Of violence and pain.

The wise leader
Seeks real solutions. (Dreher, 1996)

Years ago, I studied with international conflict resolution facilitator Dudley Weeks, who would ask people in conflict to look beneath their differences to discover their shared needs. Building on the foundation of shared needs, people could then become partners¸ creating new solutions together (Weeks, 1992).

As Dudley found through decades of resolving inner city and international conflicts, when we find ourselves in conflict, the key is to stop reacting with anger and fear, to get beyond dualism by looking for common ground. For beneath the differences that divide us, there is so much more we have in common. And, ultimately, we all really do stand on common ground—this beautiful planet we call home.